Undergraduate / "In society today" - Application Essay : Notre Dame [4]

I think your essay isn't as unique as Notre Dame would like. Your reasons for being different aren't really all that individual-most applicants can boast of being morally righteous, strategizing, and donating their time to others.

I really like the idea of your twin sister though...maybe continue with a creative twist down that road?

Undergraduate / the FARTING ESSAY: my original common app essay [11]

"when they know everybody else in the world does such biological necessities ?"-rephrase.

And how do you "wax your ears"?

Overall, Risky...

What does this essay explain about you? What is the point..I'm kinda lost. Seems more like an SNL skit to me.

Undergraduate / "In society today" - Application Essay : Notre Dame [4]

Sorry,

your essay, not mine.

your notre dame diploma, not mine.

ive helped you enough.

Undergraduate / travel experience that changed you. [3]

"As Alex introduced me to all of her friends as her cousin, I was
immediately greeted by a swarm of her friends." dont repeat the word friends . You also repeat "the next day" at the end.

im confused...this essay doesnt really deliver any message. Its also very short. Sentence structure is akward, and you overused your thesaurus.

"Although I greatly appreciated California's breathtaking
views, I grew to appreciate the diverse people I met in San Diego much more." - you know san diego is in Cali, right?

The insignificant conversation with your friend's friend really dramatically changed your life? You might as well have learned that from somebody at home. All of the description of San Diego and your friends and what not distracts from what little message you are trying to convey.