roma91
Jan 1, 2010
Undergraduate / Rice supplement--perspective [7]
I think you have a good idea of what you want to say, but I think you need to say it in a way that keeps readers locked in. I think to make it even more personal you could go into a story about when you first got here (hustle and bustle of the airport, not knowing whats going to happen, where you're going to live, where you will go to school, etc...). You can use that to show how you developed and changed into the bright young woman you are today but show how you still care about your traditions (kind of a day in the life of an ethiopian muslim woman who wants to make something of herself and live the classic american dream). Good luck!
I think you have a good idea of what you want to say, but I think you need to say it in a way that keeps readers locked in. I think to make it even more personal you could go into a story about when you first got here (hustle and bustle of the airport, not knowing whats going to happen, where you're going to live, where you will go to school, etc...). You can use that to show how you developed and changed into the bright young woman you are today but show how you still care about your traditions (kind of a day in the life of an ethiopian muslim woman who wants to make something of herself and live the classic american dream). Good luck!