fakeghost
Apr 23, 2010
Writing Feedback / [IELTS] Children must be taught to have balance between competitiveness and co-operation. [6]
Dear all,
I have an essay for the below topic. Please help me to review and correct it.
Thank you very much for your help. it's my first time.
Topic:
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
My Essay:
It is believe that all children are born with equal capabilities but their way of learning and how they are taught makes difference in the end. Children's having competitive skills is a good aspect but they must know how to co-operate.
These skills mostly depend upon their initial training either by their parents or in the school. Children possessing only competitive skill make them a good learner. Most of the time they are very ambitious about two thing, one is academics and other is their career, they try to be excellent in them in many ways. Every time they win, it makes them more confident and energetic to work hard. Competitively also make them to be creative, but if it's not guided properly then it has reversal effect on children. They will lack confidence, always have feared to lose, very selfish and will not be able to play their role in community properly.
On the other hand, being co-operative is much more fun. Co-operative means share, people who have this skill are good organizer and play a vital role as a team player. On lot of occasions they can overcome their weakness by collaborating with others. They definitely reach their goal as teamwork.
To conclude, any of these abilities are created for a purpose. Children must be set free to create their own abilities according to their potential but they must be taught to have balance between competitiveness and co-operation.
Dear all,
I have an essay for the below topic. Please help me to review and correct it.
Thank you very much for your help. it's my first time.
Topic:
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
My Essay:
It is believe that all children are born with equal capabilities but their way of learning and how they are taught makes difference in the end. Children's having competitive skills is a good aspect but they must know how to co-operate.
These skills mostly depend upon their initial training either by their parents or in the school. Children possessing only competitive skill make them a good learner. Most of the time they are very ambitious about two thing, one is academics and other is their career, they try to be excellent in them in many ways. Every time they win, it makes them more confident and energetic to work hard. Competitively also make them to be creative, but if it's not guided properly then it has reversal effect on children. They will lack confidence, always have feared to lose, very selfish and will not be able to play their role in community properly.
On the other hand, being co-operative is much more fun. Co-operative means share, people who have this skill are good organizer and play a vital role as a team player. On lot of occasions they can overcome their weakness by collaborating with others. They definitely reach their goal as teamwork.
To conclude, any of these abilities are created for a purpose. Children must be set free to create their own abilities according to their potential but they must be taught to have balance between competitiveness and co-operation.