Essays / Financial planning -- My academic and career goals (essay plan) [8]

my interest is in business...

but I do not know what to start the essay with...

Essays / Financial planning -- My academic and career goals (essay plan) [8]

thank you for your reply! it's good!
Ok my goal is a financial planner and have my own company ...I want to help people who is struggling with making their life better...this goal is greatly affected by my dad's personality

Essays / Financial planning -- My academic and career goals (essay plan) [8]

Everytime I rode taxi with my father, my father paid more money than what he was supposed to pay for taxi fare. I could not understand my father because my house was not that wealthy to give people free money. I asked him "Why don't you take the change?" He answered me "In korea, taxi drivers do not get enough money to support their family. I mean, in this hard world, if I do not help them, who is going to help them? That is why I do not get change. My son, when you become adult, I hope you would be the one who has warm heart." My father's answer for my question has driven me to the world of helping another, then I decided that when I be at the time of deciding my career, I will choose something that I can help people with their struggle. This is why I chose financial planner for my dream.

is it good to start the essay like this?