Writing Feedback / Reduce stress, body and mind; GED Essay - Why people enjoy hobbies [NEW]

Could you please advise and comment my essay.
I am preparing for GED writing at the moment.
Your feed back is very important for me.

Cheers, fisherman.

Prompt-Many people have hobbies like gardening or knitting. Why people enjoy hobbie?
Write an essay explaining why people enjoy hobbies. Supply reasons and examples to support your view.

Hobbies are practiced for interest and enjoyment rather than financial award. There are numerous benefits to engaging in hobbies: reduce stress body and mind, discover the hidden talents and make good friends.

Engaging in hobby can reduce stress body and mind. When hobbyist works in hobby, she will relax and enjoy activity so, muscles tend to loose, the blood can flow smoothly, and then brain is able to use oxygen effectively. One of doctor, who works more than ten hours per day, always enjoys hand digging in soil and watering in the garden after work. Her hobby activity helps her to relax and sleep well at night. The next morning she can go to work without stress.

Hobby is helping people to discover the hidden talents. Hobbyist feels free to learn without forcing from anyone and enjoy learning substantial skills. They have never counted for time spending. If it fails, the hobbyist will never give up. With these efforts, hobbyist can discover their hidden talents, so they can focus in career in the future. Bill Gates has discovered his hidden talents in computer software from hobby.

It is nice to have good friends who have the same interest. The hobby has created an opportunity for people to talk and share information from one to another. Hobby can bring you closer to someone especially if you can share some passion and interest for particular area. One of my good friends, Pooky was my colleague. I met her when I played tennis at sport club. Our relationship has improved from colleague to good friend from that day.

With all of these benefits, hobby can reduce stress body and mind, find out what your hidden talents are and give opportunity for people to make good friends. There is no doubt, why people enjoy hobbies.

Undergraduate / GED Practice: Discuss the influence of rock music on young people [2]

Dear Sir,

Can please review my essay.
Your advice is much appreciated.

Best regards,
Pam

Prompt: Many people claim that rock music is a bad influnce on young people.
They feel it encourages drug use and in appropriate behavior. Other believe that rock music is good entertainment. They don't think that it causes social problem.

In an essay of 200 words, discuss the influence of rock music on young people. You may discuss positive or negative influences, or both. Be specific and use examples to support your view.

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Because rock music is good entertainment for everyone especially young people,
it influences good physical condition, improvement of exercise performance and the practical skill.

Rock music can improve young people with their good physical condition.
While listening to rock music, the heart rate increases, and then the heart muscles start working heavily to burn fat and cholesterol, the blood flows smoothly. In addition, the deep-breath from inhaling and exhaling can help the lungs to utilize oxygen effectively. As a result, the body automatically releases beta-endorphin. These have made young people to stay fit and look firm.

Rock music helps young people to improve an exercise performance especially who find exercise boring. Its rhythm motives their mood to participate and enjoy in every movement of the song rather than exercise. I was one of them. After I saw aerobic exercise with rock music at a gym, my exercise attitude changed. I can enjoy rock music as well as exercise in the same time. Furthermore, many sports clubs have used rock music to motivate young people mood.

Rock music is able to encourage young people to gain in the practical skill.
After listening to rock music, many of them are inspired to learn the musical instruments such as the guitar or drum. The musical instruments' practice has made perfect, young people enjoy playing it from basic to advance level. This effort can make them success as famous rock music in the future. For example, The Beatles is a very famous and successful rock music band.

In conclusion, many young people have been influenced by rock music. They can improve their good physical condition, exercise performance and practical skill. With all of positive influences, there is no wonder that rock music is good entertainment for young people.