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Posts by carebear
Joined: Oct 7, 2008
Last Post: Jan 13, 2009
Threads: 2
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From: United States of America

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carebear   
Oct 8, 2008
Writing Feedback / Ending Underage Drinking by Making It Legal. Should underage drinking laws be changed. [5]

Hello. I need some feedback/help on an essay I just wrote today for a cause and effect project in english. I would like some constructive feedback. I also need to cite my sources at the end of the paper and need to know how I should format that. Thank you. This is a great site by the way, very helpful and useful.

Ending Underage Drinking by Making It Legal

For teens to make the right decision over drinking responsibly versus drinking to get
drunk, has it's downfalls in many ways. By lowering the legal drinking age an abundance
of health and developmental issues will be inevitable. Many adults are irresponsible as it is....
carebear   
Oct 17, 2008
Writing Feedback / Ending Underage Drinking by Making It Legal. Should underage drinking laws be changed. [5]

Please review outline for speech project. Thank you

The Effects of Underage Drinking

General Purpose:

To inform people how lowering the drinking age from 21 to 18 will effect teens and parents in a negative way.

Specific Purpose:

If the law passes a bill that will allow a younger generation of kids under 21 years old to drink, effects of drinking at an early stage will have devastating consequences: biologically and educational focus will be lost.

Thesis:

I strongly oppose lowering the drinking age from 21 to 18. I believe that by lowering the drinking age, this will have more of a negative than positive effect on our youth and our country.

Organizational Strategy:

From younger generations we have learned that many early age deaths have occurred due to health issues from consuming alcohol in various measures. As a young adult grows and becomes an adult various issues and downfalls of alcoholism and possibly drug abuse will follow.

I. Introduction:

For teens to make the right choices in life, adult responsibility must be present and forceful in it's tactics to inform and educate on alcohol and drug use.

Attention Getter (A)

Would you want your child to start drinking at 18? Considering that a person is killed by a drunk driver every 40 minutes.

Reveal (B)

In the United States the public spends an estimated $114 billion dollars in alcohol related accidents and deaths

Teen drivers account for a high percentage of alcohol-related crashes three in every ten Americans.

If the age limit is dropped at such a critical state in a child's life when they are most influenced, the rate of alcohol dependency will raise. So will deaths, vandalism, homelessness, suicide, teen pregnancy and homicides.

Preview - (Credibility statement)

There have been many deaths among youth whom consume alcohol not to mention that alcohol could become the starting point of other addictive substances .

Main Point 1 Biological Effects (Death and accident statistics)

1. Sub point (e.g., according to)

According to The National Institute of Health, "Adolescence is a period of rapid growth and physical change. " Consuming alcohol during this stage can disrupt development in ways that have long-term consequences."

2. Sub point Support (examples, statistics, visuals)

*Statistics show that three out of ten American children will be effected by alcoholism in some way.

*According to the Drug Abuse Warning Network (DAWN):
"During 2004, an estimated 142,701 alcohol-related ER visits were made by patients 12-20."

* "Nearly half (42%) of drug related ER visits by patients 12-20 involved alcohol.

*Other studies show that bing drinking or heavy drinking behavior is noticeably equal in numbers among underage males and females.

* Nearly half of American secondary students have tried an illicit drug by the time they reach high school graduation.

*The bill that saved several more thousand lives passed in 1984, National Minimum Purchase Age Act. Setting the standard alcohol purchasing age to 21 years old. By 1986, every state was in compliance.

3. Sub point Support (Alcohol dependency downfalls)

Alcohol dependency levels will rise if the age limit is lowered. Thus sending more children into:

*AA programs
*Increase in death rates
*Fatal accidents that will also increase insurance and medical rates
*Suicides
*Other drug paraphernalia usage

Main Point 2 (Biological damage and the outcome)

Sub point (A) Internal bodily damage

1. Blood supply is decreased and thinned

2. Brain, Liver, Pancreas, lungs, Kidneys, heart, muscles and other vital tissues and organs are effected.

3. Tolerance levels gradually increases which could lead to alcoholism.

Sub point (B) Common side effects of alcohol

1. Brain activity scattered
2. Self-control
3. Depression
4. Speech is slurred
5. Moods swings
5. Hasty thoughts
6. Reaction time slow
7. Hearing is dulled
8. Visions weak and blurred
9. Memories foggy

Main Point 3 What to do as a parent or educator

1. Be more involved in the awareness of alcoholism and drug abuse

2. Make pamphlets available from AA Alcoholics Anonymous and other organizations like AA placed on school campuses

3. Properly train and counsel staff to inform and be readily available on campuses

4. Reveal images of real life happenings on how alcohol has changed or destroyed a life

5. In school forums as a daily curriculum to keep kids aware

6. Model responsible behavior

7. Set standards and clearly communicate policies on no drug use

8. Give youth opportunities to be leaders, to serve the community and to become responsible for their actions

9. Sponsor drug-free rallies, parties and community activities in schools and homes

Conclusion:

The awareness factor must start with an adult figure. Children need a solid and stable working environment to prosper and grow. If educators and parents reinforce the negative preventable effects of alcohol and drug abuse, this will keep kids informed and aware of how drugs, alcohol and addiction can be prevented.
carebear   
Nov 9, 2008
Writing Feedback / Research paper review :online gambling should be illegal [4]

Online Gambling Is a Serious Addiction and Should Be Illegal



Addiction-(n.) the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, such as narcotics, to such an extent that it's cessation causes severe trauma. Recently, gambling has reached it's all time peak, everyday people gamble away several millions of dollars. The legality of gambling is a very big issue that needs to be discussed in our modern world. Gambling should be illegal in the U.S. because our legal gambling operations cost millions of dollars for tax payers annually and also costs a lot of money to the federal government. Furthermore, online gambling has caused an overall rise in gambling addictions.

Online gambling is progressively on the rise and should be made completely illegal or be more rigidly controlled because it promotes addiction. Online gambling also presents great potential for criminal abuse and has become a growing problem on college campuses. Compulsive gambling is a serious addiction that affects many people. While it may seem abrasive to consider it a serious disease, one must realize that the consequences of compulsive gambling can dwarf that of any other addiction.

Gambling can also be very costly to tax payers. A lot of the money collected from Taxpayers is spent towards gambling winnings. The amount of money that is received in tax revenues is very high in the gambling industries in America. "Legal gambling operations in the U.S. pay millions of dollars in taxes annually to local and federal governments." (Hammer, Ryan D.) Although the state of California benefits financially from the revenue generated by the gambling industry, there are other negative consequences that must be considered for the people. For example, it could potentially lead to prostitution, alcoholism, drug use and other personal sufferings. Gambling is very costly because of the destructive effect it has on families, and the families fall apart which causes them to loose everything they've worked for.

There is no doubt that gambling wastes our federal governments money." The U.S. government states that consumers who place these bets are in violation of the Wire Act of 1961 which was originally aimed at organized crime and sought to prevent gambling businesses from operating by phone in states where it was otherwise illegal to gamble." (Carruthers, David.) termination of the Act will aid in eliminating organized crimes and put an end to the gambling business. "Online gambling is now a $12 billion dollar industry." (Carruthers, David.) The amount of money spent on gambling winnings annually is a waste to the federal government. It could be used to fund more valuable causes. Therefore, the federal government should take more action on the issue and put a stop to the gambling business in order for them not to waste their money.

Gambling addictions have caused a rise in internet gambling . "95% of all Americans are expected to live within a three or four hour drive of a casino." (Popkin, James.) Maybe if people weren't in such close distances to casinos, there wouldn't be as

many of them that go everyday and eventually become addicted." 51% of American adults find casino gambling acceptable for anyone." (Popkin, James.) If American adults believe that gambling is acceptable, that means their children are going to grow up thinking that it's just some thing you go out and do everyday. Those exact people will in the end grow addicted. Due to the rise in the gambling addictions and the acceptance of it in our society, it goes to show that Americans have some serious issues that need to be addressed concerning gambling and it's effects.

The financial benefits of gambling to the state do not out weigh the personal, social, and financial cost to individual families. Even though gambling does benefit economically, because it brings in so much money tax wise there are still many other downfalls. We as a society need to step up and make a change in order to prevent these negative affects that are destroying our families.

People have been known to lose their entire life's savings. Financial ruin is only one of serious events that ruin a gambling addict's life. The gambling addiction affects them at work as well. Gambling never seems to leave their minds. In many cases, gamblers begin to integrate gambling into their daily office lives. They organize office pools or sports pools during their free hours, and bet on anything that has winning or losing situations. Arranging card games for money is also a common practice for gamblers during short breaks. The effect that all this has on the pathological gambler's work is clear and logical. He or she may have difficulty concentrating and finishing projects, and regularly misuse time in order to gamble. Serious crimes may arise, which include embezzlement, employee theft, or other illegal activities, and may leave the

person jobless and possibly jailed. For these people, once they start they cannot stop, and, like any other addiction, they build up a tolerance and experience symptoms of withdrawal when trying to abstain from gambling. With the option of online gambling, compulsive gamblers can easily gamble at home and are even more unlikely to control their obsession. While lives are destroyed due to the addictive effects of gambling, they also can be destroyed by online criminals.

Online gambling presents a potential for criminals to abuse a persons credit worthiness. Internet scammers lurk for people's financial information and may lure the unsuspecting victims. Phishing is a high-tech scam criminals use to deceive consumers into disclosing their credit card numbers, bank account information, Social Security numbers, passwords, and other sensitive information. Criminals can send spam emails or create fraudulent gambling websites. They tell recipients that they need to update or validate their billing information to keep their accounts active. They then direct them to a legitimate-looking website, further tricking consumers into thinking they are responding to an important request. Criminal abuse does not only involve phishing, but also influencing sporting events involving colleges.

According to Bill Saum, director of Agent and Gambling Activities for the National Collegiate Athletic Association, online gambling has been a growing problem on college campuses. Most dorms have internet access, allowing students the ability to bet in the privacy of their dorm rooms. With nothing more than a credit card, the possibility exists for any student to place a wager via the internet. The majority of students don't even know that most states prohibit sports gambling. Gambling is an addictive distraction for many college students and directs their attention from their main priorities, their studies. Additionally, students are surrounded with offers to sign up for credit cards from representatives on campuses and solicited with emails from internet sports bookie sites.

Because of the many problems and criminal activities involving online gambling, laws have been proposed and debated in Congress. Laws prohibiting online gambling have always been a debatable issue. The current law dealing with online gambling is the Wire Transfer Act of 1961. Under this statute, the law is violated when telephone lines are used in interstate or foreign commerce to place wagers. The statute also bars the transmission of information that assists gamblers to gamble on sports events and contests. Recently, Congress has been active in seeking to pass further legislation to restrict betting on the web. During November 2004, the senate proposed the Internet Gambling Prohibition Act. This statute would make it a crime to knowingly use the internet or other interactive computer services to place, receive, or otherwise make a bet or wager; or send, receive, or invite information assisting in the placing of a bet or wager. Penalties would be as high as $20,000 and up to four years in prison. However, a vote in July, the bill narrowly missed obtaining the two thirds majority required to pass the bill.

In May, the Unlawful Internet Gambling Funding Prohibition Act was introduced. This statute would criminalize and prohibit any person engaged in a gambling business from knowingly accepting an electronic transfer of funds, or any instrument payable through a financial institution from a person, who is involved in internet gambling using a credit card or extension of credits. This would shield certain financial institutions from liability as long as they do not know that their facilities are being used for online gambling. Neither bills have been passed, but both were very close. Creating new laws is an effective way of fixing the problems of online gambling.

Furthermore, if the US were to mirror existing laws that other countries use, this could bring more control to the situation. The government could control and set betting limits by tracking the value of how much is being spent. Australia presents a perfect example of how this could work. There, a gambler has to register with the online casino, provide bank account information, and fax in several forms of identification. Most of their companies also call the patrons to verify the information and to catch minors who try to register under their parents' names. One way to prevent drastic financial situations is to set limits on the amount of money gamblers can wager in the first few weeks. Once one has established that they have good gambling credit, the chances of compulsive gambling are decreased, and the wager limit can be raised slightly.

Many people gamble on the internet everyday. Many of them might say they are just having fun or are bored and looking for some excitement. But the reality is that a lot of them are just like any other addict. They have a problem. Their life is being

destroyed and they cannot stop it. Although online gambling may not apply to everyone, with its growing popularity, it has the possibility of affecting a loved one in the near future.
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