OwenXa
Aug 15, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS writing-There are social and medical problems associated with the use of mobile [NEW]
Topic:
There are social and medical problems associated with the use of mobile phones. What are these problems? Do you agree that the problems outweigh the benefits brought by mobile phones?
My essay:
It is quite common to see that almost everyone owns one mobile phone these days. And it becomes the most popular communication method to use a cell phone. Yet with time going on, a range of problems led by mobile phones appear gradually.
A frequent use of mobile phones may raise negative effects on our health. First of all, obviously the radio of cell phones harms us every time. Although many cell phone producers announce that the radio of their cell phones is light and safe, we should still pay much attention on it for we use it too frequently, especially for someone like businessman. As well as this, using cell phones too much may lead people lazy. People can complete almost everything they want to do by mobile phones. For instance, they can have an enjoyable talking with their friends who live in another part of the earth, and they also can hold a meeting, finish a trade or even go shopping using only one mobile phone. However, this convenient way usually make people lazy. They may stay home everyday, which has a very bad influence on their health. Furthermore, it is less fun that we could have using cell phones than the normal method. Specifically, it seems impossible to enjoy a phone meeting or a phone shopping just listening to the sound only. Communications may become boring and even unpleasant with this single way.
On the other hand, we benefit so much from mobile phones indeed. Using cell phones boosts the studying and working efficiency dramatically. Also, we can exchange the newest information the first time. Admittedly, mobile phones play an increasing important role in our daily life.
In conclusion, there are various merits by using a cell phone. However, we cannot deny that the harm of it also cannot ignore. Therefore, we should limit the frequency of use in daily life, and make mobile phones become an effective and green assistant.
PS: I'll take the IELTS test next Saturday. However, my writing is so poor. If you could kind enough to give me some advice to improve my writing ability, I would really appreciate it. Thank you very much!
Topic:
There are social and medical problems associated with the use of mobile phones. What are these problems? Do you agree that the problems outweigh the benefits brought by mobile phones?
My essay:
It is quite common to see that almost everyone owns one mobile phone these days. And it becomes the most popular communication method to use a cell phone. Yet with time going on, a range of problems led by mobile phones appear gradually.
A frequent use of mobile phones may raise negative effects on our health. First of all, obviously the radio of cell phones harms us every time. Although many cell phone producers announce that the radio of their cell phones is light and safe, we should still pay much attention on it for we use it too frequently, especially for someone like businessman. As well as this, using cell phones too much may lead people lazy. People can complete almost everything they want to do by mobile phones. For instance, they can have an enjoyable talking with their friends who live in another part of the earth, and they also can hold a meeting, finish a trade or even go shopping using only one mobile phone. However, this convenient way usually make people lazy. They may stay home everyday, which has a very bad influence on their health. Furthermore, it is less fun that we could have using cell phones than the normal method. Specifically, it seems impossible to enjoy a phone meeting or a phone shopping just listening to the sound only. Communications may become boring and even unpleasant with this single way.
On the other hand, we benefit so much from mobile phones indeed. Using cell phones boosts the studying and working efficiency dramatically. Also, we can exchange the newest information the first time. Admittedly, mobile phones play an increasing important role in our daily life.
In conclusion, there are various merits by using a cell phone. However, we cannot deny that the harm of it also cannot ignore. Therefore, we should limit the frequency of use in daily life, and make mobile phones become an effective and green assistant.
PS: I'll take the IELTS test next Saturday. However, my writing is so poor. If you could kind enough to give me some advice to improve my writing ability, I would really appreciate it. Thank you very much!