epooqeo1
Aug 26, 2011
Undergraduate / father's mental illness (influential person) [5]
I literally wrote this in like ten minutes so it's definitely a rough draft and I have several months to edit it..So don't be afraid to be harsh. Please let me know what I should change. I need to cut it shorter (45 words), and I also want to make the admissions person cry...so I need to make this more moving.
Prompt: Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence. (250-500 words)
My father's mental illness has been a skeleton in the closet which I have kept from even my closest friends, as it is something I would rather push aside and keep hidden, but it has undoubtedly been the greatest influence in my determination for attending an excellent college.
My mother and father met in college, where my father studied biochemistry and was still mentally "healthy". As my father's research garnered attention, he was asked to study in several different countries, and my mom came along with him. While studying in Canada, he was contacted by Harvard University and asked to come to Boston to do research, which is where I was born. Still in his early twenties, he moved on to lead a groundbreaking discovery at a biochemistry company, where his research was ultimately taken advantage of and stolen by an undeserving man who made hundreds of millions which my father did not receive a penny of.
My mother tells me this is the point where my father's mental health began to take a downward spiral. He would skimp on sleep while he did research, and made a drug himself that would allow him to stay awake for several days. After a few days, he ended up in the hospital, where he was then diagnosed with schizophrenia.
This has caused him to be unemployed since and have unpredictable psychotic behaviors, such as hearing voices, talking to himself, or acting in an irrational manner. When I talk to my father, it is like he is not completely "there." It feels as though I am speaking to the shadow of the old him, and I have witnessed his mental illness become progressively worse. Knowing that this man's unique and brilliant mind was once in such high demand, is now destroyed and somewhat inept, has torn me apart at times, but also given me the greatest desire to utilize my intelligence. I feel as though it is almost my responsibility to achieve the success my father never got. My mother entered business in an effort to provide for us as a family. I have witnessed my mother work her way up in the business world, to now owning her own business, and this has been a great influence on my interest to major in business.
Growing up with a literally psychotic father with unpredictable actions, a mother constantly working, and an older sister dealing with it all with alcoholism, was not the ideal family life. I used to deal with it with extreme worrying, sometimes wondering if I would inherit my dad's psychosis. As I entered high school, I made a promise to myself to always strive for excellence and to get involved. By doing this, I grew out of my shyness and worrying habits and realized that I couldn't change my family, but the greatest difference I could make would be utilizing my talents and intelligence to ultimately end up in a good college. I started my college searches years before my friends, knowing that it is the first step to a successful career, as well as my route to independence. I believe growing up with my father's mental illness with knowledge of his past has instilled in me a unique self motivation which continues to grow.
I literally wrote this in like ten minutes so it's definitely a rough draft and I have several months to edit it..So don't be afraid to be harsh. Please let me know what I should change. I need to cut it shorter (45 words), and I also want to make the admissions person cry...so I need to make this more moving.
Prompt: Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence. (250-500 words)
My father's mental illness has been a skeleton in the closet which I have kept from even my closest friends, as it is something I would rather push aside and keep hidden, but it has undoubtedly been the greatest influence in my determination for attending an excellent college.
My mother and father met in college, where my father studied biochemistry and was still mentally "healthy". As my father's research garnered attention, he was asked to study in several different countries, and my mom came along with him. While studying in Canada, he was contacted by Harvard University and asked to come to Boston to do research, which is where I was born. Still in his early twenties, he moved on to lead a groundbreaking discovery at a biochemistry company, where his research was ultimately taken advantage of and stolen by an undeserving man who made hundreds of millions which my father did not receive a penny of.
My mother tells me this is the point where my father's mental health began to take a downward spiral. He would skimp on sleep while he did research, and made a drug himself that would allow him to stay awake for several days. After a few days, he ended up in the hospital, where he was then diagnosed with schizophrenia.
This has caused him to be unemployed since and have unpredictable psychotic behaviors, such as hearing voices, talking to himself, or acting in an irrational manner. When I talk to my father, it is like he is not completely "there." It feels as though I am speaking to the shadow of the old him, and I have witnessed his mental illness become progressively worse. Knowing that this man's unique and brilliant mind was once in such high demand, is now destroyed and somewhat inept, has torn me apart at times, but also given me the greatest desire to utilize my intelligence. I feel as though it is almost my responsibility to achieve the success my father never got. My mother entered business in an effort to provide for us as a family. I have witnessed my mother work her way up in the business world, to now owning her own business, and this has been a great influence on my interest to major in business.
Growing up with a literally psychotic father with unpredictable actions, a mother constantly working, and an older sister dealing with it all with alcoholism, was not the ideal family life. I used to deal with it with extreme worrying, sometimes wondering if I would inherit my dad's psychosis. As I entered high school, I made a promise to myself to always strive for excellence and to get involved. By doing this, I grew out of my shyness and worrying habits and realized that I couldn't change my family, but the greatest difference I could make would be utilizing my talents and intelligence to ultimately end up in a good college. I started my college searches years before my friends, knowing that it is the first step to a successful career, as well as my route to independence. I believe growing up with my father's mental illness with knowledge of his past has instilled in me a unique self motivation which continues to grow.
