rg1220
Nov 23, 2011
Undergraduate / 'the judgments have no credibility' - Significant Experience Essay [2]
Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
Does the essay answer that question effectively or wouldn't it fit better into another option? I gave this to some people, including my AP Lit teacher who says its "expectional", but I'd still like some more opinions. All comments and suggestions are appreciated, thanks!
Also, I currently dont have a title for it and its 7 words over the 500 limit I believe. Any help for those issues would be appreciated!
A man's coughing roused me. I had dozed off on the subway on my way to Manhattan. The burly, disheveled looking man then started pacing up and down the car. "Suspicious" I thought, but decided to ignore it. Suddenly, he started singing. At a loss for words, I exchanged glances with other passengers and noticed we shared the same perplexed expression. However, I was pleasantly surprised as the man continued. His voice was almost synonymous to one who would get "three yes's" on American Idol. Also, I noticed he was singing about tolerance, love for your neighbor, etc...
The man then proceeded to preach: "Discrimination!" he said. "Why do we do it?
Whenever I sing, people insult me and laugh. I'm singing about what everyone wants ain't I? The thing is, people see me and they judge. Everyone does it. You judge cause of how someone looks, acts, or talks. Thing is, you don't know nothing about them! Why add more hate to the world? You gotta meet hate with love; accept people..."
While he continued, I did what anyone in that situation would do: ignored it and waited for it to subside. I initially brushed the incident off as "just one of those things you'll see in NYC." and went on as if nothing happened. However, the man's message had been implanted in my mind, and I would not soon forget it.
As time went on, I started noticing things that would regularly blend into the background. Instead of ignoring the homeless man on the sidewalk as usual, I decided to offer any loose change I had. I would notice people conspicuously trying to avoid the seat next to the Sikh man on the bus or train. Instances such as these, reminded me of the man's message that "discrimination" was a pervading issue.
I realized that I was a victim as well as a perpetrator. Because of popular culture, one sees an Asian individual and they think: studious, good at math, good with computers, wants to be a doctor, etc... However, these applied stereotypes, weather true or not, wouldn't tell the person anything about who I really am, how a close peer would see me. Similarly, we know nothing of the homeless man we pass on the street or the person we try to avoid on the bus.
The man's general message stated although discrimination may be pervasive, the judgments have no credibility. To truly know a person's character, those details are to be overlooked. This idea wasn't new; it was already present in my own opinions, values, and beliefs from what I've been taught and what I've learned through life experiences. However, the man had illustrated the idea and helped me recognize its importance. His act had augmented the message's prominence. Although the memory of the anonymous man who illustrated one of life's most important lessons will most likely fade with time, the lesson will remain with me. I'd like to say I had an epiphany, but I was just reminded to see things from a better perspective.
Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
Does the essay answer that question effectively or wouldn't it fit better into another option? I gave this to some people, including my AP Lit teacher who says its "expectional", but I'd still like some more opinions. All comments and suggestions are appreciated, thanks!
Also, I currently dont have a title for it and its 7 words over the 500 limit I believe. Any help for those issues would be appreciated!
A man's coughing roused me. I had dozed off on the subway on my way to Manhattan. The burly, disheveled looking man then started pacing up and down the car. "Suspicious" I thought, but decided to ignore it. Suddenly, he started singing. At a loss for words, I exchanged glances with other passengers and noticed we shared the same perplexed expression. However, I was pleasantly surprised as the man continued. His voice was almost synonymous to one who would get "three yes's" on American Idol. Also, I noticed he was singing about tolerance, love for your neighbor, etc...
The man then proceeded to preach: "Discrimination!" he said. "Why do we do it?
Whenever I sing, people insult me and laugh. I'm singing about what everyone wants ain't I? The thing is, people see me and they judge. Everyone does it. You judge cause of how someone looks, acts, or talks. Thing is, you don't know nothing about them! Why add more hate to the world? You gotta meet hate with love; accept people..."
While he continued, I did what anyone in that situation would do: ignored it and waited for it to subside. I initially brushed the incident off as "just one of those things you'll see in NYC." and went on as if nothing happened. However, the man's message had been implanted in my mind, and I would not soon forget it.
As time went on, I started noticing things that would regularly blend into the background. Instead of ignoring the homeless man on the sidewalk as usual, I decided to offer any loose change I had. I would notice people conspicuously trying to avoid the seat next to the Sikh man on the bus or train. Instances such as these, reminded me of the man's message that "discrimination" was a pervading issue.
I realized that I was a victim as well as a perpetrator. Because of popular culture, one sees an Asian individual and they think: studious, good at math, good with computers, wants to be a doctor, etc... However, these applied stereotypes, weather true or not, wouldn't tell the person anything about who I really am, how a close peer would see me. Similarly, we know nothing of the homeless man we pass on the street or the person we try to avoid on the bus.
The man's general message stated although discrimination may be pervasive, the judgments have no credibility. To truly know a person's character, those details are to be overlooked. This idea wasn't new; it was already present in my own opinions, values, and beliefs from what I've been taught and what I've learned through life experiences. However, the man had illustrated the idea and helped me recognize its importance. His act had augmented the message's prominence. Although the memory of the anonymous man who illustrated one of life's most important lessons will most likely fade with time, the lesson will remain with me. I'd like to say I had an epiphany, but I was just reminded to see things from a better perspective.