m5456
Nov 20, 2008
Undergraduate / essay about experience [6]
prompt is: Tell us about a person, place, or event in your life that has particular meaning for you, and why it is important to you. We'd especially like to hear about someone or something that has affected your life that may not have affected or even been noticed by other people. (suppose to be 500 words, I'm a bit short..)
MY ESSAY:
I can only imagine for immigrants to America, the difficulties and hardships they must face. My father and grandparents are immigrants to this nation we call the land of opportunity. I remember the stories of the hardships, the uncertainty of making ends meet. Fortunately, my father and grandparents were able to move from poor lower-class citizens to upper working middle-class status. However, the same cannot be said for many others.
I recall a story my father had told me about a friend of his when growing up, after so many years had still been eating rotten vegetables. The significance of this was that the friend had been in America for years already but was getting sick from the food that he would have to find. Many come to live the American Dream, whatever that may be, but many also are unsuccessful.
What I took from this was that it takes some luck and hard work to advance in society. My grandparents had an education less than that of a high school education, but were still able to find some work that helped put my parents, aunts and uncles through school. My parents tell me about how they had to work at such a young age to help their parents and siblings unlike me where I had never held a job.
My parents had preferred that I focused on school instead of getting a job. For them, school was more important and hopefully in the end would lead to a great job. I get to live the life my parents did not have. I did not have to work like they did and get to enjoy the things I wanted. However, it came with the price of working hard in school and with that, I graduated top of my class.
Much of our success in life comes from hard work and some luck. Many immigrants, especially after a generation or two are able to move up in society assuming they started from rock bottom. However some, like my father's friend, are not so lucky and remain in the poor status in society. On the other hand, my grandparents were able to give their children what they did not have, an education. My parents gave me what they did not have, an easygoing life with the joy of having most of what I wanted. The next step for me is to continue move up in the social ladder, but knowing that any unexpected event could always bring you down back to square one.
Please be as critical, harsh, and honest with your review of my essay. How is the content and structure of the essay? Should I just rewrite another essay? Please be brutally honest and don't hold back I really want a great essay. And thanks for the help.
prompt is: Tell us about a person, place, or event in your life that has particular meaning for you, and why it is important to you. We'd especially like to hear about someone or something that has affected your life that may not have affected or even been noticed by other people. (suppose to be 500 words, I'm a bit short..)
MY ESSAY:
I can only imagine for immigrants to America, the difficulties and hardships they must face. My father and grandparents are immigrants to this nation we call the land of opportunity. I remember the stories of the hardships, the uncertainty of making ends meet. Fortunately, my father and grandparents were able to move from poor lower-class citizens to upper working middle-class status. However, the same cannot be said for many others.
I recall a story my father had told me about a friend of his when growing up, after so many years had still been eating rotten vegetables. The significance of this was that the friend had been in America for years already but was getting sick from the food that he would have to find. Many come to live the American Dream, whatever that may be, but many also are unsuccessful.
What I took from this was that it takes some luck and hard work to advance in society. My grandparents had an education less than that of a high school education, but were still able to find some work that helped put my parents, aunts and uncles through school. My parents tell me about how they had to work at such a young age to help their parents and siblings unlike me where I had never held a job.
My parents had preferred that I focused on school instead of getting a job. For them, school was more important and hopefully in the end would lead to a great job. I get to live the life my parents did not have. I did not have to work like they did and get to enjoy the things I wanted. However, it came with the price of working hard in school and with that, I graduated top of my class.
Much of our success in life comes from hard work and some luck. Many immigrants, especially after a generation or two are able to move up in society assuming they started from rock bottom. However some, like my father's friend, are not so lucky and remain in the poor status in society. On the other hand, my grandparents were able to give their children what they did not have, an education. My parents gave me what they did not have, an easygoing life with the joy of having most of what I wanted. The next step for me is to continue move up in the social ladder, but knowing that any unexpected event could always bring you down back to square one.
Please be as critical, harsh, and honest with your review of my essay. How is the content and structure of the essay? Should I just rewrite another essay? Please be brutally honest and don't hold back I really want a great essay. And thanks for the help.