ruat
Dec 29, 2011
Undergraduate / Master studies will empower me - my last two paragraphs [3]
hi everybody, i wrote an essay the last few days out of 1000 words but i still couldn't finish the last two paragraphs. i feel they are full with mistakes. I would be grateful if you may review them for me. here they are:
In my spare time, I take pleasure in playing chess, reading and learning foreign languages such as French and German. I also have great interest in doing social activities which involve poor people. For example, I am a member of a charity group that provides food, clothes and shelter to people in need. In addition, my friends and I started a group three years ago that aims to provide drugs for poor patients who have typhoid fever and malaria. I dream that one day this world will be completely free from poverty and so I am working hard to creat awareness among poor people and teach them the value of educating their children. Being in such groups gives me the desire to help my people more and do everything I am capable of to lessen their suffering.
In brief, life becomes clear when we map out our short and long term goals, and an experience that a person passes through could be the factor that contributes in shaping these goals. I am so enthusiastic about doing my masters and I really hope I can make a difference. My master studies will empower me with skills and knowledge that can definitely help me to develop my country. I would like you to know that I am a reliable, determined and enthusiastic person who will make the most out of the scholarship benefits if I was given the opportunity. Plus I am so excited to interact with students from diverse professional and cultural backgrounds drawn from all over the world.
Thank you for considering my application and I look forward to a favorable reply.
hi everybody, i wrote an essay the last few days out of 1000 words but i still couldn't finish the last two paragraphs. i feel they are full with mistakes. I would be grateful if you may review them for me. here they are:
In my spare time, I take pleasure in playing chess, reading and learning foreign languages such as French and German. I also have great interest in doing social activities which involve poor people. For example, I am a member of a charity group that provides food, clothes and shelter to people in need. In addition, my friends and I started a group three years ago that aims to provide drugs for poor patients who have typhoid fever and malaria. I dream that one day this world will be completely free from poverty and so I am working hard to creat awareness among poor people and teach them the value of educating their children. Being in such groups gives me the desire to help my people more and do everything I am capable of to lessen their suffering.
In brief, life becomes clear when we map out our short and long term goals, and an experience that a person passes through could be the factor that contributes in shaping these goals. I am so enthusiastic about doing my masters and I really hope I can make a difference. My master studies will empower me with skills and knowledge that can definitely help me to develop my country. I would like you to know that I am a reliable, determined and enthusiastic person who will make the most out of the scholarship benefits if I was given the opportunity. Plus I am so excited to interact with students from diverse professional and cultural backgrounds drawn from all over the world.
Thank you for considering my application and I look forward to a favorable reply.
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