Undergraduate / 'In America, the last thing I ever felt was safe' - COMMON APP ESSAY [2]

Don't doubt yourself, this is a very nice essay! You could use some commas though.
"When I came to America, the last thing I ever felt was safe. I had accepted chaos as a natural part of life much like my home life. I never expected to achieve anything. Mainly, my past pessissmism was to due to constantly being reminded how silly my dreams were to my parents. They, like many other parents, thought that a career in the medical field was best; and for years I didn't have the courage to say "no".

"It all started (this is a cliche, try to come up with a more original transition) with a pair of ballet slippers (add details: pink, soft, delicate, etc ). They were small, but they held my dreams where no one could take them away . They made me feel safe for the first time in my life. I remember walking into the dance studio with them for the first time and quickly being overwhelmed (I quickly became overwhelmed as I walked into the dance studio for the first time, wearing the precious slippers ). The beauty of ballet came from years of pain and dilligence . It took initiative and action and resulted in many failures, but that's what kept me motivated to learn. To be a ballerina was to be a living work of art. I knew it wouldn't be easy but I didn't care."

Sorry, I couldn't finish editing. Hope this helps though. I love the fortune messages!