peeshaw
Nov 28, 2008
Undergraduate / The Real Estate World - UC Undergraduate Prompt#1 [3]
Hi!
This is not a bad start so far :) I agree with what Gloria said earlier, keep in mind that your writing style and speaking style are not the same. Be sure to proofread at the end, otherwise the main suggestion I have is always ask yourself, "So what?" Since the word count is very limited, look at each sentence to make sure it has a connection with what you want to say. I'm not commending repetition, conciseness is important, but make sure that the point you're trying to make is very clear and represented everywhere, not just in the end.
Also, I would advise you to try and include something that you've learned from these experiences, or more about how you felt.
I'm not trying to be harsh at all, and sorry if I come across as such. I hope this helped, good luck!
Hi!
This is not a bad start so far :) I agree with what Gloria said earlier, keep in mind that your writing style and speaking style are not the same. Be sure to proofread at the end, otherwise the main suggestion I have is always ask yourself, "So what?" Since the word count is very limited, look at each sentence to make sure it has a connection with what you want to say. I'm not commending repetition, conciseness is important, but make sure that the point you're trying to make is very clear and represented everywhere, not just in the end.
Also, I would advise you to try and include something that you've learned from these experiences, or more about how you felt.
I'm not trying to be harsh at all, and sorry if I come across as such. I hope this helped, good luck!