whiungter
Jan 30, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Neurodegenerative diseases' - Personal statement for SURF program in US [2]
Hello! I am looking forward to participate in one of SURF program in next summer.
I have to write two-page of personal statement letter including my research background, future goal..etc.
As my mother tongue isn't english, so I am worried about every single things. Form proper word or grammar choice to overall flow of essay or structure of each paragraph. Is it too long for 2-page essay (852words)? So..anyone.. could you kindly look over what I have done and give me constructive advices? Thank you in advance!
"I am sorry but your son is allergic to house-dust mites and it triggers him to get caught asthma"
I was diagnosed as severe asthma when I was about 6 or 7 years old. I had to drop out of preschool and in and out of university hospital for a while. Even though asthmatic symptoms considerably alleviated as I grew older under great care of my parents, I had no choice but to become familiar with weekly vaccine injections or ringer solution. This young kid always wonders why he is so different from his friends who untiringly romping around and why he should suffer from those tiny little creatures. That was the first time that he began to have a great deal of interest in biology and biomedical research to treat his disease on his own.
While taking 2 years of science-gifted course at XXX university and ranging over extensive medical-themed movies, I was involuntarily paying attention to a particular anomaly in neural circuitries occurring Neurodegenerative diseases(ND). There were countless patients suffering immensely from Alzheimer's or Parkinson's disease without any effective therapeutics. Since then, I have empathized with those patients and felt a strong responsibility towards this devastating disease.
Still, concrete interactions between gene variants and non-genetic factors affecting pathogenesis of NDs are remain hidden to us. I want to understand complicated links between genetics and the neural circuits that drive multiple behavioral disorders in ND patients. Since last summer, I have been screening for potent neuro-protective agents against Parkinson's disease using Drosophila Parkinsonian models in the lab of Dr. XXXX. Before joining lab for behavioral neurobiology, I was totally ignorant of small non-coding RNAs or diverse behavioral experiments using fruit flies. After wasting dozens of 1% agarose gels and performing climbing assay for hundreds of times, I became able to understand latent effects of microRNAs in the pathogenesis of Parkinson's disease. Moreover, throughout undergraduate research program at XXXXX, I could actually develop my particular scientific question into a real research process.
Along with genuine interest in neurological disorders, I have acknowledged crucial impacts of those devastating diseases on whole society. Last winter, I had a chance to perform classical chamber music as a violist in local hospital to enhance patient recovery. After the concert, when I was about to leave, one woman came to me and appreciated our performance. Sadly, her husband has suffered from Alzheimer's disease and she kept vigil at his bedside for decades. After being told to her story, I could realize significant social and economical burdens of NDs and feel a sense of responsibility of my research goal than ever before. Diverse projects and courseworks done in STP minor program enlighten me to raise up the integrated view on relationship between scientific research and public health issues as well.
I always try my best to keep my eyes and ears open for new paradigms and never hesitate to adapt those ideas into my life. When I was a sophomore, I stumbled upon a book called Hope for animals and their world by Dr. Jane Goodall. Reckless destruction of nature by human beings has brought ecological catastrophe. I have felt strong responsibility and it did not take so long to decide for spending my whole summer in Tanzania for conserving coastal Mangrove forests and marine wildlife. After I came back, I could luckily get a chance talk about what I had done with Dr. Goodall in person when she visited XXXX campus.
Moreover, I constantly extended myself intellectually through courses that initially frighten me. Before entering into XXXX, I did not learn any programming language or have sufficient mathematical backgrounds than others. In deciding go for being an outstanding neuroscientist, I acknowledged that I have to tackle my weakness head-on. I have struggled and lost most of my GPA by those courses, but I did not give up. Working as a research assistant in lab for Systems biology in XXXX, I independently learn C languages on my own. At last fall semester, I even get the first place in statistics course competing with other math major students.
I am constantly learning, as if I am putting together a big puzzle of NDs. Through YYYY SURF program, I am looking forward to be a part of the work being done in the labs of Dr. Sidney Strickland and Dr. Paul Greengard. I want to be involved in glorious processes elucidating various role players and their potent functions in the pathogenesis of Alzheimer's disease. Understanding the genetic/molecular causes of neurodegeneration such as cerebral amyloidosis will certainly help me to draw the big picture of my future research paradigm.
Neurodegenerative diseases not only destroy its victims' minds and bodies but also ravage their families. I understand the seriousness of malicious impact of this disease on whole population. I have been inspired by advanced research education and interdisciplinary cutting-edge research projects done in YYYY. As YYYY makes a significant breakthrough in diagnosis and treatment of cancer, neurological disorders, and other diseases, I want to dedicate myself into fundamentally understanding diverse causes of neurodegeneration and contribute to eradicate those afflictions from our society.
Hello! I am looking forward to participate in one of SURF program in next summer.
I have to write two-page of personal statement letter including my research background, future goal..etc.
As my mother tongue isn't english, so I am worried about every single things. Form proper word or grammar choice to overall flow of essay or structure of each paragraph. Is it too long for 2-page essay (852words)? So..anyone.. could you kindly look over what I have done and give me constructive advices? Thank you in advance!
Diagnosis and Treatment of Various Diseases, Including Asthma
"I am sorry but your son is allergic to house-dust mites and it triggers him to get caught asthma"
I was diagnosed as severe asthma when I was about 6 or 7 years old. I had to drop out of preschool and in and out of university hospital for a while. Even though asthmatic symptoms considerably alleviated as I grew older under great care of my parents, I had no choice but to become familiar with weekly vaccine injections or ringer solution. This young kid always wonders why he is so different from his friends who untiringly romping around and why he should suffer from those tiny little creatures. That was the first time that he began to have a great deal of interest in biology and biomedical research to treat his disease on his own.
While taking 2 years of science-gifted course at XXX university and ranging over extensive medical-themed movies, I was involuntarily paying attention to a particular anomaly in neural circuitries occurring Neurodegenerative diseases(ND). There were countless patients suffering immensely from Alzheimer's or Parkinson's disease without any effective therapeutics. Since then, I have empathized with those patients and felt a strong responsibility towards this devastating disease.
Still, concrete interactions between gene variants and non-genetic factors affecting pathogenesis of NDs are remain hidden to us. I want to understand complicated links between genetics and the neural circuits that drive multiple behavioral disorders in ND patients. Since last summer, I have been screening for potent neuro-protective agents against Parkinson's disease using Drosophila Parkinsonian models in the lab of Dr. XXXX. Before joining lab for behavioral neurobiology, I was totally ignorant of small non-coding RNAs or diverse behavioral experiments using fruit flies. After wasting dozens of 1% agarose gels and performing climbing assay for hundreds of times, I became able to understand latent effects of microRNAs in the pathogenesis of Parkinson's disease. Moreover, throughout undergraduate research program at XXXXX, I could actually develop my particular scientific question into a real research process.
Along with genuine interest in neurological disorders, I have acknowledged crucial impacts of those devastating diseases on whole society. Last winter, I had a chance to perform classical chamber music as a violist in local hospital to enhance patient recovery. After the concert, when I was about to leave, one woman came to me and appreciated our performance. Sadly, her husband has suffered from Alzheimer's disease and she kept vigil at his bedside for decades. After being told to her story, I could realize significant social and economical burdens of NDs and feel a sense of responsibility of my research goal than ever before. Diverse projects and courseworks done in STP minor program enlighten me to raise up the integrated view on relationship between scientific research and public health issues as well.
I always try my best to keep my eyes and ears open for new paradigms and never hesitate to adapt those ideas into my life. When I was a sophomore, I stumbled upon a book called Hope for animals and their world by Dr. Jane Goodall. Reckless destruction of nature by human beings has brought ecological catastrophe. I have felt strong responsibility and it did not take so long to decide for spending my whole summer in Tanzania for conserving coastal Mangrove forests and marine wildlife. After I came back, I could luckily get a chance talk about what I had done with Dr. Goodall in person when she visited XXXX campus.
Moreover, I constantly extended myself intellectually through courses that initially frighten me. Before entering into XXXX, I did not learn any programming language or have sufficient mathematical backgrounds than others. In deciding go for being an outstanding neuroscientist, I acknowledged that I have to tackle my weakness head-on. I have struggled and lost most of my GPA by those courses, but I did not give up. Working as a research assistant in lab for Systems biology in XXXX, I independently learn C languages on my own. At last fall semester, I even get the first place in statistics course competing with other math major students.
I am constantly learning, as if I am putting together a big puzzle of NDs. Through YYYY SURF program, I am looking forward to be a part of the work being done in the labs of Dr. Sidney Strickland and Dr. Paul Greengard. I want to be involved in glorious processes elucidating various role players and their potent functions in the pathogenesis of Alzheimer's disease. Understanding the genetic/molecular causes of neurodegeneration such as cerebral amyloidosis will certainly help me to draw the big picture of my future research paradigm.
Neurodegenerative diseases not only destroy its victims' minds and bodies but also ravage their families. I understand the seriousness of malicious impact of this disease on whole population. I have been inspired by advanced research education and interdisciplinary cutting-edge research projects done in YYYY. As YYYY makes a significant breakthrough in diagnosis and treatment of cancer, neurological disorders, and other diseases, I want to dedicate myself into fundamentally understanding diverse causes of neurodegeneration and contribute to eradicate those afflictions from our society.