starlathornhill
Feb 8, 2012
Undergraduate / 'quickly growing as biology' - Statement of Purpose Essay for Admission to Biology [3]
And here is my essay:
After a period of enjoying my newfound adult freedom and careful consideration of the different fields I am interested in, I have decided to pursue a medical degree in order to combine my interests in the sciences, helping others and the human brain. For this reason I am pursuing an undergraduate degree in biology.
I first realized that I had a passion for biology my freshman year in high school. I was fortunate enough to have a hands-off teacher who allowed us to perform our experiments in the lab without over-supervising. Being able to actually experiment, rather than blindly following a step-by-step procedure engaged my mind in a way that I had not experienced before. My passion continued throughout my high school career; I took the AP level biology class my senior year which opened up even more opportunities, including attending an off campus seminar on the benefits of stem cell research.
When I first started college I was extremely unfocused, primarily due to the fact that I wasn't sure what exactly I wanted to do with my life. I considered many options, from teaching to forensic science. What stood out to me through all the options I considered was that I wanted to work in science, and that I wanted to help people. Upon making the decision to become a doctor I focused my undergraduate level studies to the sciences and the human brain, even writing a research paper for my Human Nutrition class linking the onset of Alzheimer's disease to nutrition.
My research into Alzheimer's disease helped me realize my real interest, neurodegenerative diseases. It is my goal to work with people who have diagnosed with such diseases in order to slow, and hopefully one day reverse the damage caused by nerve cell death. I would also like to further my knowledge on the causes of diseases like Alzheimer's so that I can aid in the prevention of disease in people with high risk.
I believe that my driven personality, my desire to learn, and my passion for science would give me the edge that I need to succeed in a discipline as fast paced and quickly growing as biology.
Would anyone mind reading and critiquing it for me? This is draft #3 and I still feel like it is incomplete.
Any help would be appreciated!
And here is my essay:
After a period of enjoying my newfound adult freedom and careful consideration of the different fields I am interested in, I have decided to pursue a medical degree in order to combine my interests in the sciences, helping others and the human brain. For this reason I am pursuing an undergraduate degree in biology.
I first realized that I had a passion for biology my freshman year in high school. I was fortunate enough to have a hands-off teacher who allowed us to perform our experiments in the lab without over-supervising. Being able to actually experiment, rather than blindly following a step-by-step procedure engaged my mind in a way that I had not experienced before. My passion continued throughout my high school career; I took the AP level biology class my senior year which opened up even more opportunities, including attending an off campus seminar on the benefits of stem cell research.
When I first started college I was extremely unfocused, primarily due to the fact that I wasn't sure what exactly I wanted to do with my life. I considered many options, from teaching to forensic science. What stood out to me through all the options I considered was that I wanted to work in science, and that I wanted to help people. Upon making the decision to become a doctor I focused my undergraduate level studies to the sciences and the human brain, even writing a research paper for my Human Nutrition class linking the onset of Alzheimer's disease to nutrition.
My research into Alzheimer's disease helped me realize my real interest, neurodegenerative diseases. It is my goal to work with people who have diagnosed with such diseases in order to slow, and hopefully one day reverse the damage caused by nerve cell death. I would also like to further my knowledge on the causes of diseases like Alzheimer's so that I can aid in the prevention of disease in people with high risk.
I believe that my driven personality, my desire to learn, and my passion for science would give me the edge that I need to succeed in a discipline as fast paced and quickly growing as biology.
Would anyone mind reading and critiquing it for me? This is draft #3 and I still feel like it is incomplete.
Any help would be appreciated!