sawlytia
Feb 14, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'What is abortion?' or "Don't get me started on.." essay [4]
Hello,
I just finished my essay, I would like to hear a professional opinion and mistakes or how i could make it better :)
Thankyou
What is abortion? Everyone has different opinion. Doctors would say, "Abortion is the artificial ending of the life a foetus in the womb." Religious women would say, "Abortion is a killing an innocent baby. It's a murder." Some teenagers might say, "Abortion is just a few cells removed from women's body." A little child would say "It's just taking away a baby from its mother." All of these phrases are true. In each of the sentences are words as "removing, killing, innocent, murder, life, baby and ending". In my opinion they are the atrocious words in one sentence.
Don't get me started on abortion! I hate the thought that few women's words take away a life. It is not fair. No one deserves to die. In some countries it's forbidden to kill criminals anymore - so how people could do it to a baby who didn't do anything wrong? People make it into a disaster when someone kills a dog or a cat - so, why isn't it a disaster the massive amount of abortions in the world? Why it's legal? I am disappointed about all the people who don't care about abortion and who thinks it is good and usual or women who are having an abortion this minute. I will admit, however that there are sometimes when women has no choice. For example a disabled mother or someone with a similar health risks, but I will never agree with women who say "I don't have money for another child" or it is not the time yet, "I am too young." Also abortion should only ever be a last resort, not a form of contraception. I think the main problem is that people care more about money, material things than lives. If people won't change what they beliefs, no law will help.
We have a rich history of abortion. First recorded evidence of abortion was in Egypt in 1550 BCE. Many of the methods were non-surgical. Physical activities like strenuous labour, climbing, paddling, weightlifting, or diving were a common technique. Others included the use of irritant leaves, fasting, bloodletting, pouring hot water onto the abdomen, and lying on a heated coconut shell. Before almost 5000 years people were doing anything to murder a baby. Abort became legal in 1970 with a law that allowed abortion trough the 24th weeks. The law was made by protecting women from death; if the pregnancy resulting from rape or incest or being under 15 years of age. However these days' women are having abortions for different reasons; for example: too many children; can't afford other child; too young, bad time for baby. Worldwide, 21% of women obtain abortions for social or economic reasons. In my opinion you cannot think when or why to kill a child. Which mother could kill a child if she lost her job or divorced? It would be a murder, but by the law it is not a murder to kill a tiny cute baby. However I will agree we can't choose our health or decide about future.
My family and me are Christians; I was raised to think it is cruel. The Christians Church teaches: life is a sacred from God; just God can give and take a life. We believe that an embryo is an individual, no matter how small. My Mother never had an abortion and she believes that abortion is a murder.
My sister was pregnant by the age 17. My sister never had second thoughts about an abortion but without my family everyone had. Doctors were offering an abortion because she was too young for that big responsibility, she didn't had high education. Friends were treating her like she was retarded because she is keeping a child. Teachers were looking at her disappointment look. That nine months she was outsider, having few friends out of hundred. While all school were talking how she will destroy life, she bore a beautiful baby boy. That day came to her life an angel, which show her the wright way how to live. Now my nephew is 2 years old. My sister is finishing her college and raising her child. Boy is surrounded by love and happiness in family. Who said she would destroy her life?
I don't want abortion to would be forbidden. It wouldn't be fair for a woman who has health risk. But other ways people are using it for economics and social reasons. To make it stop firstly doctors shouldn't blame young pregnant girls; they still can have a perfect life. There are loads of examples. Sometimes try to get in the young girls shoes. Couples who don't want to have children should use protection but not murdering. We are living 21st century!
Hello,
I just finished my essay, I would like to hear a professional opinion and mistakes or how i could make it better :)
Thankyou
Don't get me started on abortion
What is abortion? Everyone has different opinion. Doctors would say, "Abortion is the artificial ending of the life a foetus in the womb." Religious women would say, "Abortion is a killing an innocent baby. It's a murder." Some teenagers might say, "Abortion is just a few cells removed from women's body." A little child would say "It's just taking away a baby from its mother." All of these phrases are true. In each of the sentences are words as "removing, killing, innocent, murder, life, baby and ending". In my opinion they are the atrocious words in one sentence.
Don't get me started on abortion! I hate the thought that few women's words take away a life. It is not fair. No one deserves to die. In some countries it's forbidden to kill criminals anymore - so how people could do it to a baby who didn't do anything wrong? People make it into a disaster when someone kills a dog or a cat - so, why isn't it a disaster the massive amount of abortions in the world? Why it's legal? I am disappointed about all the people who don't care about abortion and who thinks it is good and usual or women who are having an abortion this minute. I will admit, however that there are sometimes when women has no choice. For example a disabled mother or someone with a similar health risks, but I will never agree with women who say "I don't have money for another child" or it is not the time yet, "I am too young." Also abortion should only ever be a last resort, not a form of contraception. I think the main problem is that people care more about money, material things than lives. If people won't change what they beliefs, no law will help.
We have a rich history of abortion. First recorded evidence of abortion was in Egypt in 1550 BCE. Many of the methods were non-surgical. Physical activities like strenuous labour, climbing, paddling, weightlifting, or diving were a common technique. Others included the use of irritant leaves, fasting, bloodletting, pouring hot water onto the abdomen, and lying on a heated coconut shell. Before almost 5000 years people were doing anything to murder a baby. Abort became legal in 1970 with a law that allowed abortion trough the 24th weeks. The law was made by protecting women from death; if the pregnancy resulting from rape or incest or being under 15 years of age. However these days' women are having abortions for different reasons; for example: too many children; can't afford other child; too young, bad time for baby. Worldwide, 21% of women obtain abortions for social or economic reasons. In my opinion you cannot think when or why to kill a child. Which mother could kill a child if she lost her job or divorced? It would be a murder, but by the law it is not a murder to kill a tiny cute baby. However I will agree we can't choose our health or decide about future.
My family and me are Christians; I was raised to think it is cruel. The Christians Church teaches: life is a sacred from God; just God can give and take a life. We believe that an embryo is an individual, no matter how small. My Mother never had an abortion and she believes that abortion is a murder.
My sister was pregnant by the age 17. My sister never had second thoughts about an abortion but without my family everyone had. Doctors were offering an abortion because she was too young for that big responsibility, she didn't had high education. Friends were treating her like she was retarded because she is keeping a child. Teachers were looking at her disappointment look. That nine months she was outsider, having few friends out of hundred. While all school were talking how she will destroy life, she bore a beautiful baby boy. That day came to her life an angel, which show her the wright way how to live. Now my nephew is 2 years old. My sister is finishing her college and raising her child. Boy is surrounded by love and happiness in family. Who said she would destroy her life?
I don't want abortion to would be forbidden. It wouldn't be fair for a woman who has health risk. But other ways people are using it for economics and social reasons. To make it stop firstly doctors shouldn't blame young pregnant girls; they still can have a perfect life. There are loads of examples. Sometimes try to get in the young girls shoes. Couples who don't want to have children should use protection but not murdering. We are living 21st century!