alwaysmeful
Feb 14, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Two words: My brother.' - Howard U transfer Essay [3]
The prompt is " In 500 words, tells us about what makes you, you. What are your strengths, weaknesses, and your motivation? What separates you from any other applicant? How do you think Howard University will increase your strengths and diminish your weaknesses"
I struggled a little on what to include and what not to so right now it's over 500 words. I would really appreciate some feedback on the flow, content, grammar. Thank you:)
Beeps, Beep, Beep, the red eyes flash 10:00 as Ryan Seacrest announces the Top 40 songs in America. I love Sunday mornings; waking up to the light of an already started day instead of the sleepy-eyed darkness of weekdays. The music hums in the background as I enter the kitchen, flooded with light from a dozen windows. Such, are my Sundays, which I have designated "Creative Sundays. As I have learned over the years, Sundays work like a drop zone. After the structure and organization of my average week, the freedom of Sunday is a refreshing outlet for all the things I wanted to do but had to put aside for one paper or another. I settle down in my chair, enjoying the memories that have passed at this table and thinking of one conversation that woke me up to all the mistakes I had been making. As I look back now I realize that sometimes I did not use those days as well as I had hoped.
At the end of my fall semester sophomore year my parents, concerned, sat me down to talk. "Do you understand where you have put yourself?" they asked me. I had been digging myself a nice little hole since my freshman year caught up in social life of the University of Delaware and now I didn't know how to get out. "I'll do better, I'm going to work harder" I said but even those words sounded empty to my own ears. I would go back to school from winter break and make the exact same mistakes I made in the first half of year semester. It was at that point when I realized that I needed to make a big change and that meant stepping out of my current situation. Two days later I had applied to a yearlong leadership program in Texas called the Honor Academy and four days after that I was flying to Texas. In this program I found my faith, my focus, and my motivation. Over the course of that year I discovered God's character, Loving and faithful, and my own ( filler) finding a drive and purpose I had not known before. I worked in mentoring positions in the ministry that allowed to pour into interns all of the knowledge and growth that had been poured into me. If it wasn't for that year I would not have become the ( filler) that I am today.
Suddenly shaken out of my reminiscence I hear the house beginning to stir as others greet the morning. Reflection time is so over. So I settle back again, realizing that I am adding another memory to this table. My application to Howard University. So, why Howard? Two words. My brother.
My younger brother is a freshman at Howard University. Seeing what this school has done in him is what made me pull out the application in the first place. Before my brother left for college he had had his episodes. Ups and downs in the grades department, more focused on the next dance move than his next math test. By even after just a month of being there I have seen a maturity, a focus and a drive in him that inspires me to make changes in my own life. If Howard can take my little brother and shape him into someone I look up to and admire I know that sending in this application is the best way I can use this Sunday morning.
"Submit Application". Click.
P.S This is my rough draft so I just put all my thoughts on the page.
Thank You again
The prompt is " In 500 words, tells us about what makes you, you. What are your strengths, weaknesses, and your motivation? What separates you from any other applicant? How do you think Howard University will increase your strengths and diminish your weaknesses"
I struggled a little on what to include and what not to so right now it's over 500 words. I would really appreciate some feedback on the flow, content, grammar. Thank you:)
Beeps, Beep, Beep, the red eyes flash 10:00 as Ryan Seacrest announces the Top 40 songs in America. I love Sunday mornings; waking up to the light of an already started day instead of the sleepy-eyed darkness of weekdays. The music hums in the background as I enter the kitchen, flooded with light from a dozen windows. Such, are my Sundays, which I have designated "Creative Sundays. As I have learned over the years, Sundays work like a drop zone. After the structure and organization of my average week, the freedom of Sunday is a refreshing outlet for all the things I wanted to do but had to put aside for one paper or another. I settle down in my chair, enjoying the memories that have passed at this table and thinking of one conversation that woke me up to all the mistakes I had been making. As I look back now I realize that sometimes I did not use those days as well as I had hoped.
At the end of my fall semester sophomore year my parents, concerned, sat me down to talk. "Do you understand where you have put yourself?" they asked me. I had been digging myself a nice little hole since my freshman year caught up in social life of the University of Delaware and now I didn't know how to get out. "I'll do better, I'm going to work harder" I said but even those words sounded empty to my own ears. I would go back to school from winter break and make the exact same mistakes I made in the first half of year semester. It was at that point when I realized that I needed to make a big change and that meant stepping out of my current situation. Two days later I had applied to a yearlong leadership program in Texas called the Honor Academy and four days after that I was flying to Texas. In this program I found my faith, my focus, and my motivation. Over the course of that year I discovered God's character, Loving and faithful, and my own ( filler) finding a drive and purpose I had not known before. I worked in mentoring positions in the ministry that allowed to pour into interns all of the knowledge and growth that had been poured into me. If it wasn't for that year I would not have become the ( filler) that I am today.
Suddenly shaken out of my reminiscence I hear the house beginning to stir as others greet the morning. Reflection time is so over. So I settle back again, realizing that I am adding another memory to this table. My application to Howard University. So, why Howard? Two words. My brother.
My younger brother is a freshman at Howard University. Seeing what this school has done in him is what made me pull out the application in the first place. Before my brother left for college he had had his episodes. Ups and downs in the grades department, more focused on the next dance move than his next math test. By even after just a month of being there I have seen a maturity, a focus and a drive in him that inspires me to make changes in my own life. If Howard can take my little brother and shape him into someone I look up to and admire I know that sending in this application is the best way I can use this Sunday morning.
"Submit Application". Click.
P.S This is my rough draft so I just put all my thoughts on the page.
Thank You again