Writing Feedback / Essay on children to grow up in the countryside versus big city [2]

I'm learning English on my own and currently trying to improve my writing skills. Please read my essay and offer comments and corrections.

It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in the big city.

From my point of view, I am not agreeing with this statement because living in the big cities is more advantages than living in the countryside. I will show you the reasons why living in the big cities is better in the following paragraphs.

The world is being rapidly developed. Maybe the children have no chance for learning new technologies if they live in countryside. Moreover, the children who grow up in the big cities have a better chance for education because the big cities have more schools, colleges and universities and more career opportunities than the countryside.

The fact that countryside has fewer shops and services means that the people have fewer employment opportunities. Living in big cities is easily to connect the several services such as the hospitals, the filling stations, the cinemas, the restaurants and the department stores because of the better communication and transport system. If the people in countryside want to connect these services, they have to take a long distance. Hospitals in the big cities are abreast of the times, have more new technologies and innovations. In addition, living in the big cities offers a variety of extra curricula activities like sport clubs, art schools, dance schools and any more. I strongly believe that these activities are very important for children's development.

However, people have different reasons for choose their place for living. Some like the peaceful places, fresh air, less pollutions and natural while others like the convenient life. Choose the appropriate place for your life styles.

Writing Feedback / You must select your subordinate to train a new employee. How? [3]

Please help me correct this essay. Thank you very very much. :)

You must select your subordinate to train a new employee. What do you consider in choosing that person?

If I have own business and I have to choose my subordinates to train a new employees. I will choose them from many reasons and criteria. I will show you the important criteria for choosing someone for the essential task in training new hireling.

Criteria for select that person are enduringness or patience, experiences, skill in teaching, behaviors and empathy. Firstly, I will pick the people who can restrain or control their temple in high pressure situations. Sometimes teaching someone is hardness and need much more time. Secondly, the people I choose should have experience in their field at least 1-2 years. In addition, they must have good behaviors to be a good example for new employees. To be a precedent is one of the best methods in teaching people because of looking and imitating anyone is easiness. Maybe new employees have the problems, the questions and the doubts the man I choose must answer these questions in appropriate way and can explain more information clearly. Next, the skill in teaching is very important because somebody has more experiences and knowledge but cannot pass the knowledge to other people. The last criterion that I consider is empathy or the ability to imagine how another person is felling and so understand his mood. Further more, although the subordinates have all criteria, they should be trained particularly for this responsibility.

All of the criteria show in this essay, I am sure that I will select right person for this duty. However, the criteria may be different in any field of jobs. The suitable criteria are up to your business.

Grammar, Usage / Using semicolon (;) versus hyphen (-)? [3]

How can I use semi colon(;) and hyphen (---)? :) Help me please.

Writing Feedback / Who should be responsible for bringing children up? Fatherhood & motherhood [3]

Please help me check this essay again. :-) Thank you very very much.

Fatherhood ought to be emphasised as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In my country, while men are often working outside home, women are responsible for bringing the children up. However, in new world's society woman's role is change, the large number of women working outside home. This essay will discuss who should be responsible for bringing their children up.

I definitely agree with this idea. Father should be responsible for bringing the children up as same as mother. Both father and mother are the most important people for their youngsters and they are the first and the best teacher for their children.

Bringing the children up is the most important task for both father and mother. They should do this important duty together. Besides, in the extend family the kin should participate in this hard tasks too. Everybody in family has their own important role. These roles are affecting their children. I strongly believe that more time you staying together and more activities you do together---watching TV, cooking and playing games and so on, could encourage family's attachment and binding. Moreover, the strongly relationship of family could reduce many problems such as family's problem, learning's problem and also social's problem. From my experience, when I was young my father often went outside and has only little time to stay with me. Sometimes I fell sad and melancholy. I want much more time to stay with him and talk with him. In fact, money cannot buy something like love and happiness in your family.

All of the reasons show in this essay, changing your opinion and bringing your children up together will make more beneficial. Both father and mother have strengths and skills that are important for children's psychological growth.