Graduate / (NYMC School of Health Sciences and Practice) - Personal Statement [9]

I am applying for the MPH degree in Epidemiology and I need help with my personal statement. My main area of concern is the length of the essay. In the essay question it is mentioned that the essay should be approximately 250 words, however, it is literally impossible to write an essay of 250 words and be able to completely address the question asked. Right now (after a few editings) my essay is 647 words. I feel like I can't shorten it any more. What do I do? Is it ok to submit an essay of this length which is more than twice the required length or is it a big NO NO and suggests that i don't follow orders. Do read my essay and help me, not just with the length but also other possible errors. I don't have much time (only 3 days) so please do help me.Your help will be truly appreciated as I have nobody to go to for help or proofreading.

Here is the essay question:
A double-spaced Personal Statement of approximately 250 words that states why you wish to attend graduate school and why you choose a particular program. Career and professional goals should also be included.

Sometimes there are instances in our lives when we think we've got everything figured out, only to be proven wrong. A situation like this can be really difficult to deal with; especially when there is pressure from the family. Nonetheless, despite the complication and the confusion, such unexpected turns in our lives can happen for the better.

My mother had always wanted to be a doctor, but her dreams were cut short when she was arranged to marry my father at the young age of twenty. She couldn't study beyond her freshman year of college, but she wanted to see her dream fulfilled by me, her eldest child. As a result of her influence, I too aimed to be a doctor. I never felt burdened by such anticipations as I had a deep interest in the sciences from an early age, which was bolstered by the fact that I had incredible teachers in school.

In college I was a Pre-Med student, but continued to take math courses because of my personal interest in the subject. Within a year, I became well acquainted with my math professors who really helped my passion for math grow exponentially. Consequently, I changed my major to Mathematics, though still enrolled in the Pre-Med program. However, during my senior year, while I was relentlessly working on my senior thesis, I started questioning my decision about medical school. I had invested so much time and energy into my math courses and had learnt so much that I wasn't sure if I was ready to give it all up for med school, where my mathematical skills wouldn't be fully utilized. On the other hand, I still desired to help people lead healthy lives. I was very conflicted as and was afraid to tell my mother how I felt. I was scared I would let her down.

The following year, along with working a fulltime job, I decided to enroll in a Microbiology course at the local community college. During my undergraduate years I had wanted to take Microbiology on more than one occasion, but unfortunately the schedule for this class always conflicted with my mandatory math courses. One of the topics we covered in this class was Epidemiology. We learnt about the various epidemic outbreaks and the responsible pathogens. I did my final presentation on the Cholera problem in Bangladesh. I was very fascinated and intrigued by Epidemiology, and found it to be a good mix of math and biology. It allows me to combine my love of caring for people's health with my interest in Math, especially Mathematical Modeling.

Upon obtaining my MPH degree, I hope to work for a non-profit organization, be it local or international, as a field epidemiologist for disease control. This is my dream job as it involves travelling to various places and working at the site of the outbreak to help the people affected by the epidemic. As an epidemiologist one can prevent millions of lives from being lost to various pathogens, or control a prevailing epidemic from taking more lives. It is indeed a rewarding, albeit challenging job. Eventually, I would also like to obtain a PhD and be involved in academia, working as a faculty member in a research institute where I can work on research in the field of infectious disease epidemiology and also work towards publications.

I am certain that graduate study in Epidemiology at NYMC School of Health Sciences and Practice is an ideal match for my career aspirations of becoming a full proof health professional capable of performing epidemiological researches and contributing to the betterment of our society. I am a curious person with a great thirst for knowledge. With my undergraduate background in mathematics and biology along with a good Liberal Arts education, I can genuinely say that I will be a good fit for the MPH program in Epidemiology at NYMC.