Zook
May 14, 2012
Writing Feedback / TOEFL:We should never make judgments about a person's character based on appearance [NEW]
Please revise my essay for TOEFL independent writing
Question: We should never make judgments about a person's character based on appearance or the clothes he or she wears. Agree or Disagree?
I agree with the idea that we should never judge a person's character based on appearance. Although some people believe that appearance expresses his or her character fully, actually, it is just for expression of outer of human. There are two reasons for this: understanding people is far away from appearance and main role of clothes is for protection.
Firstly, understanding people means that we know about people what they are thinking. If we make judgments on the clothes he or she wears, we will make barrier on his or her mind. Consequently, we can't know real thing about who they are. In order to know who they are, we have just one way that is talking. Because of this reason, all of companies have interview step on selecting employers. Judgments are not useful way to contact with people, to increase his or her production, and to make he or she be perfect. For example, there are many poor people who are very smart, but, they don't have money for fashionable and good clothes. So, in the only one case, we can find out those a kind of people when ignoring what they wear. Thus, because of these reasons, judgments should not be done on appearance if you really want to know about his or her.
Secondly, before we make judgments about his or her appearance, we should think about what is the main role of clothes. The answer is that the main role of clothes is protection. In particular, clothes are made for protecting people from cold, warm, and insects. Hence, we should never make a laugh on clothes he or she wears because all clothes can protect people from cold and warm.
In conclusion, understanding people is more important than all thing and clothes expresses nothing. For all of these reasons, I want to tell again that we don't have to emphasize outer appearance whereas we should emphasize our inner mind. For this thing, we should ignore what they wear.
Please revise my essay for TOEFL independent writing
Question: We should never make judgments about a person's character based on appearance or the clothes he or she wears. Agree or Disagree?
I agree with the idea that we should never judge a person's character based on appearance. Although some people believe that appearance expresses his or her character fully, actually, it is just for expression of outer of human. There are two reasons for this: understanding people is far away from appearance and main role of clothes is for protection.
Firstly, understanding people means that we know about people what they are thinking. If we make judgments on the clothes he or she wears, we will make barrier on his or her mind. Consequently, we can't know real thing about who they are. In order to know who they are, we have just one way that is talking. Because of this reason, all of companies have interview step on selecting employers. Judgments are not useful way to contact with people, to increase his or her production, and to make he or she be perfect. For example, there are many poor people who are very smart, but, they don't have money for fashionable and good clothes. So, in the only one case, we can find out those a kind of people when ignoring what they wear. Thus, because of these reasons, judgments should not be done on appearance if you really want to know about his or her.
Secondly, before we make judgments about his or her appearance, we should think about what is the main role of clothes. The answer is that the main role of clothes is protection. In particular, clothes are made for protecting people from cold, warm, and insects. Hence, we should never make a laugh on clothes he or she wears because all clothes can protect people from cold and warm.
In conclusion, understanding people is more important than all thing and clothes expresses nothing. For all of these reasons, I want to tell again that we don't have to emphasize outer appearance whereas we should emphasize our inner mind. For this thing, we should ignore what they wear.
