Undergraduate / 'working in the Movie industry' - Essay for the Art Institute. [2]

I started writing this essay but i don't know if it sounds right? I need some help with it if i can get more advice on it on how to write it i would appreciate it (:

My goal in life is to be able to work in the Movie industry, work with other people who share my passion for Filming. In 3-4 years i wanna have my bachelor's degree and be able to work doing what i love. I enjoy recording quite a lot and that's mainly what i aim for, to be a Cameraman/Video Editor. That's why i wanna get the best education possible to make this happen. I wanna be able to learn and experience new things in which will help me accomplish my goal. I'm willing to put my all into this and do whatever i have to do to make this happen, And i know The Art Institute can put me on the right path and give me the tools and knowledge i need to achieve my career goals. I am ready to put all my effort and commit to this, commit to my future, this is what i love doing and ill work hard to achieve my goal.