golnar
Aug 15, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'The quest to be Lake City's new mayor' - Argument writing [4]
Hi there, I know your forum recently, and I don't know how I can your comments about my writings. one of is here, I appreciate you to guide me more.
your sincerely,
Golnar
When Ida McAllister ran for mayor of Lake City four years ago, she failed to win even 30 percent of the vote. But since then, McAllister has made public her commitment to environmental causes. She would be wise, therefore, to announce her intention to close all Lake City parks to automobile traffic, thus following the example of the former mayor of Plainsville, Alecia Yu . On the recommendation of a small group of concerned citizens, Mayor Yu prohibited automobile traffic in all Plainsville parks, and therefore was credited with solving the pollution problem and improving the quality of life in Plainsville. This action would have great appeal to the citizens of Lake City, most of whom participate in the community's recycling program, and would guarantee McAllister's success in her current quest to be Lake City's new mayor.
This argument is flawed for numerous reasons. Primarily, the argument is based on the unwarranted assumption that the problems of Lake city and Plainsville are the same, rendering its main conclusion, the Lake city will follow the success of Plainsville. On this account, social factors play remarkable role in solving the problems of cities. To illustrate, life conditions in societies are so different that they should be considered in order to solve the problems in cities; moreover, not only are the conditions important, but people who live there are also more substantial aspects to indicate whether close of parks in Lake city will affect Lake city's difficulties same as the closing of the parks in Plainsville or not.
More significantly, the argument states that recycling program will granteed the success for Lake city. If the problems do not come from pollutions that recycling program can solve this problem, the argument is without basis. Likewise, scientific features form an integral part of the system in order to ameliorate the Lake city. As a matter of fact, scientific teams are needed to investigate what is the main problem in the city in order to find the best way of improvement. The argument would have been more strong had it provided more information about regarding investigations so that they can find the beneficial way of solving problems.
The argument cannot provide any justification that in case former mayer of Plainsville who closed the parks in order to avoid the authomobile traffic, this can be one of the his goals and there would be many other reasons for this activity; therefore, it is not logical that McAllister bring appropriate life for citizens by just closing parks. In addition, in the Lake city should investigate all parameters that are considerable in order to make environment calm.
because the argument provide several unwarranted assumptions that it fails to make any convincing case about the fact that Lake city is definitely will follow the success of other place like Plainsville without any investigation about the similarity between two theses cities.
Hi there, I know your forum recently, and I don't know how I can your comments about my writings. one of is here, I appreciate you to guide me more.
your sincerely,
Golnar
When Ida McAllister ran for mayor of Lake City four years ago, she failed to win even 30 percent of the vote. But since then, McAllister has made public her commitment to environmental causes. She would be wise, therefore, to announce her intention to close all Lake City parks to automobile traffic, thus following the example of the former mayor of Plainsville, Alecia Yu . On the recommendation of a small group of concerned citizens, Mayor Yu prohibited automobile traffic in all Plainsville parks, and therefore was credited with solving the pollution problem and improving the quality of life in Plainsville. This action would have great appeal to the citizens of Lake City, most of whom participate in the community's recycling program, and would guarantee McAllister's success in her current quest to be Lake City's new mayor.
This argument is flawed for numerous reasons. Primarily, the argument is based on the unwarranted assumption that the problems of Lake city and Plainsville are the same, rendering its main conclusion, the Lake city will follow the success of Plainsville. On this account, social factors play remarkable role in solving the problems of cities. To illustrate, life conditions in societies are so different that they should be considered in order to solve the problems in cities; moreover, not only are the conditions important, but people who live there are also more substantial aspects to indicate whether close of parks in Lake city will affect Lake city's difficulties same as the closing of the parks in Plainsville or not.
More significantly, the argument states that recycling program will granteed the success for Lake city. If the problems do not come from pollutions that recycling program can solve this problem, the argument is without basis. Likewise, scientific features form an integral part of the system in order to ameliorate the Lake city. As a matter of fact, scientific teams are needed to investigate what is the main problem in the city in order to find the best way of improvement. The argument would have been more strong had it provided more information about regarding investigations so that they can find the beneficial way of solving problems.
The argument cannot provide any justification that in case former mayer of Plainsville who closed the parks in order to avoid the authomobile traffic, this can be one of the his goals and there would be many other reasons for this activity; therefore, it is not logical that McAllister bring appropriate life for citizens by just closing parks. In addition, in the Lake city should investigate all parameters that are considerable in order to make environment calm.
because the argument provide several unwarranted assumptions that it fails to make any convincing case about the fact that Lake city is definitely will follow the success of other place like Plainsville without any investigation about the similarity between two theses cities.