fbimonkey
Oct 27, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Building of human society' - Common App, topic of your own choice [2]
I have an essay that is about 130 words over the 500 word limit
If any one can help me cut down my essay, i will try and help with yours
Common App essay, Topic of my own choice
It was summer and it was hot. The day was coming to an end. Everything was ready, the sack of potatoes was lying next to me and no one was around. Double checking that everything was in working order, the time had come. Taking a breath and counting down. 3..., 2..., 1..., click. No bang. No boom...click, click, cliclicklclicklcick. Something was wrong and this was bad.
True to the old adage of Murphy's Law, "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong," a problem had occurred. I re-evaluated every component and discovered that the bolts connected to the ignition system were too far a distance apart to let a spark travel between them. Reflecting on that day now, and the countless others where problems had foiled my creations, I knew that failures are the things that intrigue me. Building, tinkering, and just playing around with mechanical man-made curiosities is joyous to me. These things that we human-beings have built are exotic in themselves. Many people drive cars. They drive them to work and back, but to them, a car is a car. A car is not something as simple as that. A car has many inner working components that drive and work together as one to fulfill people's needs. To put it simply, my passion, the one thing in this world that truly intrigues me, is the knowledge of how something is put together to operate in a manner that is useful.
The day had begun as usual, waking up late and getting dressed and ready for the rest of the day. On this day, though, there was a mission, a mission that had been in the planning stages for more than a week. After I researched and isolated relevant theories of combustion, fuel type, and flight characteristics, Object Potato was fully designed, and a prototype was ready to be built. Gathering supplies from the hardware store and around the house, I felt it was time. Building the prototype was a simple matter although the fear of failure was eminent. I knew well enough from previous experience, that failure is always a pathway for success. Documenting the build process and updating the material list in my engineer's notebook, I was ready to begin the test phase. I went out to the field.
Building has been the endeavor of human society since the beginning of time. From pyramids, to castles, and skyscrapers, human-beings have used the natural world to lessen their burden and live with the help of their creations. The source of this creation is the extraordinary advantage over nature, the mind and hand. These two biological parts of our being enable us to create large and to think original thoughts. The source of my passion for the inner workings of our created world comes from these two parts of my being, mind and hand.
As my mother always says to me, everything I touch ends up broken, and that my "golden hands" are the culprits. What she lacks in seeing is that these broken things are only items that give me interest enough to take them apart and explore. Since my younger years, there have been countless experiences that led up to my passion of today. Not knowing it at the time, but all the years of playing with Legos to model rockets and airplanes, to building robots now, have created this seed in my mind, an idea and passion for building and creating.
I sat in the field and reviewed my notes. The spark system had been adjusted, and testing was to recommence. The countdown began. 3..., 2..., 1..., click! BOOM! A marvelous sound erupted from the potato cannon and the little vegetable went flying into orbit. Success was in the air, as was the smell of fried potato.
I have an essay that is about 130 words over the 500 word limit
If any one can help me cut down my essay, i will try and help with yours
Common App essay, Topic of my own choice
It was summer and it was hot. The day was coming to an end. Everything was ready, the sack of potatoes was lying next to me and no one was around. Double checking that everything was in working order, the time had come. Taking a breath and counting down. 3..., 2..., 1..., click. No bang. No boom...click, click, cliclicklclicklcick. Something was wrong and this was bad.
True to the old adage of Murphy's Law, "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong," a problem had occurred. I re-evaluated every component and discovered that the bolts connected to the ignition system were too far a distance apart to let a spark travel between them. Reflecting on that day now, and the countless others where problems had foiled my creations, I knew that failures are the things that intrigue me. Building, tinkering, and just playing around with mechanical man-made curiosities is joyous to me. These things that we human-beings have built are exotic in themselves. Many people drive cars. They drive them to work and back, but to them, a car is a car. A car is not something as simple as that. A car has many inner working components that drive and work together as one to fulfill people's needs. To put it simply, my passion, the one thing in this world that truly intrigues me, is the knowledge of how something is put together to operate in a manner that is useful.
The day had begun as usual, waking up late and getting dressed and ready for the rest of the day. On this day, though, there was a mission, a mission that had been in the planning stages for more than a week. After I researched and isolated relevant theories of combustion, fuel type, and flight characteristics, Object Potato was fully designed, and a prototype was ready to be built. Gathering supplies from the hardware store and around the house, I felt it was time. Building the prototype was a simple matter although the fear of failure was eminent. I knew well enough from previous experience, that failure is always a pathway for success. Documenting the build process and updating the material list in my engineer's notebook, I was ready to begin the test phase. I went out to the field.
Building has been the endeavor of human society since the beginning of time. From pyramids, to castles, and skyscrapers, human-beings have used the natural world to lessen their burden and live with the help of their creations. The source of this creation is the extraordinary advantage over nature, the mind and hand. These two biological parts of our being enable us to create large and to think original thoughts. The source of my passion for the inner workings of our created world comes from these two parts of my being, mind and hand.
As my mother always says to me, everything I touch ends up broken, and that my "golden hands" are the culprits. What she lacks in seeing is that these broken things are only items that give me interest enough to take them apart and explore. Since my younger years, there have been countless experiences that led up to my passion of today. Not knowing it at the time, but all the years of playing with Legos to model rockets and airplanes, to building robots now, have created this seed in my mind, an idea and passion for building and creating.
I sat in the field and reviewed my notes. The spark system had been adjusted, and testing was to recommence. The countdown began. 3..., 2..., 1..., click! BOOM! A marvelous sound erupted from the potato cannon and the little vegetable went flying into orbit. Success was in the air, as was the smell of fried potato.