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Posts by dboyd
Joined: Nov 17, 2012
Last Post: Nov 17, 2012
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From: United States of America

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dboyd   
Nov 17, 2012
Undergraduate / '4x4 pickup truck'; Peace Corps Essays: Motivation and Cross-Culture [2]

Hello all,

I am in the process of completing my application to the Peace Corps. I would greatly appreciate any feedback on the two essays I wrote. Thank you in advance!

See each prompt, followed by essay below:

ESSAY 1

Peace Corps service presents major physical, emotional, and intellectual challenges. You have provided information on how you qualify for Peace Corps service elsewhere in the application.

In March of 2012, I packed my suitcase and embarked on the most defining journey of my life thus far: to Africa. My experience in Namibia, working on a social science project for my university, inspired me to consider serving in the Peace Corps, before continuing my education. Currently, I am a senior at Worcester Polytechnic Institute, studying Chemical Engineering. I will be graduating in May of 2013, and until March of my junior year, I had intended to continue my education and obtain a PhD in Chemical Engineering immediately following my graduation.

I was given a brief glimpse of life in the developing world when I spent seven weeks in Namibia, immersed in a culture vastly different from that which was familiar to me in the U.S. I worked with people from immensely dissimilar backgrounds, perspectives, and mindsets. I faced challenges that I had never experienced before, thus developing new skills and broadening my perspective of how the world operates. I learned to be flexible, cooperate with others from diverse backgrounds, and value insights offered by a different culture.

As a citizen of the U.S., I am blessed to have access to an outstanding education and health system, and the ability to lead a comfortable lifestyle. However, I realize that these opportunities afforded to me are in part a product of my birthplace. Living in Namibia, I witnessed firsthand what hardships exist in the developing world: limited access to water, electricity, healthcare, and education. I can no longer ignore the responsibility I feel to contribute my efforts towards alleviating the difficulties in countries like Namibia. The Peace Corps presents a chance to influence the lives of others, and give back a part of myself to the world, facilitated by the nation that has supported my comfortable existence. It is my aspiration to apply my education to the improvement of underdeveloped regions as an engineer. The Peace Corps will enable me to learn valuable skills that I could never learn as a PhD student, empowering me to bring a unique global perspective to my future profession.

I understand that service in the Peace Corps will present me with a variety of personal hurdles to overcome. However, as an enthusiastic and open-minded individual, I am eager to embrace what challenges I will face during my service. Of the Ten Core Expectations, I foresee the fourth as being the most difficult. Fostering relationships and trust in an unfamiliar setting is especially challenging. However, I am confident that I can overcome these challenges by applying what I learned in Namibia. Not being afraid to leave one's comfort zone is crucial. When first forming relationships in an unfamiliar setting: A positive attitude, compassion and patience go a long way. By building strong social connections with the people of my host community, as I did in Namibia, and other Peace Corps staff, through respect, communication, and professionalism, I believe I will be an effective volunteer.

ESSAY 2
Your success as a Peace Corps Volunteer is based on the trust and confidence you build by living in, and respectfully integrating yourself into, your host community and culture (Core Expectation 4). Describe in between 250-500 words an experience you have had living or working in a social or cultural environment different from your own. What specific challenges did you face concerning trust, confidence, and/or integration? What did you learn from this experience that you will bring with you to your Peace Corps service?

Our 4x4 pickup truck abruptly transitioned out of the blackness of the C44 highway with a thump, a cruel 250 km pockmarked road originating in Grootfontein, and onto the salvation of a paved and faintly lit "main street." We had arrived in Tsumkwe, Namibia- a place my project team and I (four in total) called home for two weeks. We were there to investigate the effects of uninterrupted access to electricity on the livelihoods of community members, business owners, and public services through interviewing residents of the settlement.

Our translator Jimmy was our only connection to Tsumkwe. He warned us that the community members are "too often interrogated, annoyed by social workers, who with little sentiment, ask a list of questions and leave." In midst of his advice, on our first full day in Tsumkwe, we set out on foot in search of residents to interview. After several hours of kindly approaching people and inquiring for interviews, we were unsuccessful in finding even one respondent. New to Tsumkwe, it was clear that residents were hesitant to perceive us differently from a social worker.

To conclude our first day, Jimmy suggested that we stop by the police barracks to watch the evening volleyball matches. As we watched on with a crowd of cheering community members, I was caught off guard when one of the officers asked if my group, including Jimmy, would join him to play against the chiefs' team. Nervous of making fools of ourselves, we hesitantly accepted the invitation.

"Game-Point!" The chief howled as she served the ball up and over the outdated net; we were tied. The crowd cheered "Team! GO! Team America, GO!" The ball, whipped past the waving hands of my teammates, "GAME!" We lost the match. Yet, amid the intensity of our friendly engagement, we had inadvertently redefined our identity to the entire community. Word spread like wildfire through the community and it was clear that the volleyball match had expedited an indispensable connection to the people of Tsumkwe.

We spent the remainder of our time in Tsumkwe interviewing over 100 community members, who happily welcomed our company. However, the interviews were not typical of what we expected. Tsumkwe residents opened up like Jimmy had not seen before; discussions would often begin and end with animated recollections of our volleyball match. From this experience, I learned that keeping an open mind, a positive attitude, and leaving one's comfort zone, is essential to facilitate the formation of strong social connections in a cross-cultural setting. Moreover, one cannot initially expect mutual trust and confidence, but by making a sincere effort to first, relate to a group or individual through some commonality, relationships will flourish in time. Integration into my host community will hinge on my ability to discover the "common chord", a task I am eager to undertake. The knowledge gained from my experience in Tsumkwe will be essential in my success as a Peace Corps volunteer.
dboyd   
Nov 17, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Math league' - CommonAppEssay [3]

I enjoyed the essay. Some sentences were a bit too short, which interupted the flow of your story. I would suggest combining some sentences... Other than that, I think the message is good.
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