Writing Feedback / TOEFL; TV has adverse effects on friends and family [4]

Hi Maria, i think that there is something that you need to change in your essay :
First, it is not advisable to start your essay with nowadays. You can replace it with "in today society" etc. Furthermore it's source, not resource. And if i were you i would write like this :

" Since the emergence of information technology, it is unarguable that there are numerous sources for individuals to entertain or gain information, including TV. However, that it has posed some negative effects on human's life, namely deteriorating people's relationships, still remains an issue of debate. It is my view that a person might lose his relationships by watching tv too often "

Furthermore, in your essay there are quite a lot of grammatical mistakes. for example " Instead of spending" not spend, before even eating not eat etc

Finally i think that you should not use a question in your essay. it seems quite informal. And there are some sentences that seem nonsense : I know someone who wakes up in the morning and before even eat he turns the television on, he even records the programs he cannot watch during work hours. Too long

However you have interesting ideas :D. Try to change words and use academic structures more

That's my opinion. Hope that it helps you