Undergraduate / New Mexico; Reflecting on personal experiences [3]

I am seventeen years old and have spent several years at a group home in New Mexico where I saw some pretty horrible things, really horrible things. When I think back to traumatic events in my life, I feel I can only describe them in a monotone or emotionless way, though generally speaking I would say this is how I feel when I try to talk about pretty much any of my personal experiences, usually when I have had English courses where it was required that I write about my life I just made something up or lied, but I can't really do that now. Can I get some advice please?