nilka61
Oct 21, 2013
Writing Feedback / major cities are essential sources of information about the culture of a country [5]
Hi, I am preparing for GRE and this is my sample for question to understand the most important characteristics of a society, one must study its major cities. Please provide me feedback about my writing. Thanks=)
Major cities are heart of a country. Traditions and lifestyle of these cities are representative of the nation. They are important centers for entertainment, trade or governance because of this reason focusing of major cities are essential for having a comprehensive picture about a state.
To begin with, big cities hold majority of the population and they are representative of their country since they hold many migrants from different part of the state. The people who live in major cities is a mosaic of the society since they continue their traditions and lifestyle when they move to their new dwelling, one can learn almost all aspects of the society by examining the dynamics and lifestyle in these major cities. For example, almost twenty percent of the population of Turkey live İstanbul, the most important city in my country. People migrate there from north, east or south of Turkey to find job. In Istanbul there are several regions which are shaped according to the lifestyle of the population who abide in that area. There are centers for people who prefer lifestyle which is similar to the ones in European societies; on the other hand in some parts of the city, people literally forced to live according to the rules of Islam. It resembles Islamic regimes such as Iran or Egypt. This difference in the lifestyles provides a detailed picture of the variety of attitudes and beliefs among the people in my country. Hence, if one wants to have a deep understanding about culture and conflicts among Turkish nation, examining Istanbul is enough for a detailed picture of Turkey.
In addition, historical, economical and governance units of a country are collected in major cities; by focusing on these cities, one can full knowledge about all of these aspects. For example, in Turkey Istanbul, Izmir and Ankara are major cities. Istanbul was capital of Ottoman Empire and Byzantine; visiting the historical areas in Istanbul, provide information about the history of Anatolia and the Turks. Izmir is the most important port of Turkey, the agricultural and industrial products of its hinterland are collected and exported to the European countries via that port, and so examining the product portfolio of exported goods gives a comprehensive view about the economic activities that Turkish people engage in. Ankara is the capital of Turkey; hence it is the center where protests and political activities occur. In its main streets or in front of the presidential office there are always people who protests against severe problems of Turkey such as violence against women, economic situation or authoritarian attitude of the government.
Finally, some people claim that rural areas are more essential to have deep understanding about a society since the culture and traditions are well preserved in that areas. Although, this statement has some merit, it cannot be accepted as valid. Even though people in major cities follow business rules and traditions in their jobs, they continue their traditional lifestyle in their homes behind the closed doors. As a result, lifestyle in the major cities is examined, it provides more knowledge than lifestyles in rural areas because lifestyle in major cities include business customs of a country in addition to conventions in the home environment.
To sum up, major cities are essential sources of information for a person who want to study and understand the culture of that country. First, they are business centers they attract immigrants from all over the country thus they provide a picture about nation. Second, by focusing on these cities one can gain understanding about the background, economy and problems of that country. Third, these cities are important to understand business traditions of that country as well as customs in the families and neighborhoods. As a result, detailed examination of major cities is enough to gain a perspective about that society.
Hi, I am preparing for GRE and this is my sample for question to understand the most important characteristics of a society, one must study its major cities. Please provide me feedback about my writing. Thanks=)
Major cities are heart of a country. Traditions and lifestyle of these cities are representative of the nation. They are important centers for entertainment, trade or governance because of this reason focusing of major cities are essential for having a comprehensive picture about a state.
To begin with, big cities hold majority of the population and they are representative of their country since they hold many migrants from different part of the state. The people who live in major cities is a mosaic of the society since they continue their traditions and lifestyle when they move to their new dwelling, one can learn almost all aspects of the society by examining the dynamics and lifestyle in these major cities. For example, almost twenty percent of the population of Turkey live İstanbul, the most important city in my country. People migrate there from north, east or south of Turkey to find job. In Istanbul there are several regions which are shaped according to the lifestyle of the population who abide in that area. There are centers for people who prefer lifestyle which is similar to the ones in European societies; on the other hand in some parts of the city, people literally forced to live according to the rules of Islam. It resembles Islamic regimes such as Iran or Egypt. This difference in the lifestyles provides a detailed picture of the variety of attitudes and beliefs among the people in my country. Hence, if one wants to have a deep understanding about culture and conflicts among Turkish nation, examining Istanbul is enough for a detailed picture of Turkey.
In addition, historical, economical and governance units of a country are collected in major cities; by focusing on these cities, one can full knowledge about all of these aspects. For example, in Turkey Istanbul, Izmir and Ankara are major cities. Istanbul was capital of Ottoman Empire and Byzantine; visiting the historical areas in Istanbul, provide information about the history of Anatolia and the Turks. Izmir is the most important port of Turkey, the agricultural and industrial products of its hinterland are collected and exported to the European countries via that port, and so examining the product portfolio of exported goods gives a comprehensive view about the economic activities that Turkish people engage in. Ankara is the capital of Turkey; hence it is the center where protests and political activities occur. In its main streets or in front of the presidential office there are always people who protests against severe problems of Turkey such as violence against women, economic situation or authoritarian attitude of the government.
Finally, some people claim that rural areas are more essential to have deep understanding about a society since the culture and traditions are well preserved in that areas. Although, this statement has some merit, it cannot be accepted as valid. Even though people in major cities follow business rules and traditions in their jobs, they continue their traditional lifestyle in their homes behind the closed doors. As a result, lifestyle in the major cities is examined, it provides more knowledge than lifestyles in rural areas because lifestyle in major cities include business customs of a country in addition to conventions in the home environment.
To sum up, major cities are essential sources of information for a person who want to study and understand the culture of that country. First, they are business centers they attract immigrants from all over the country thus they provide a picture about nation. Second, by focusing on these cities one can gain understanding about the background, economy and problems of that country. Third, these cities are important to understand business traditions of that country as well as customs in the families and neighborhoods. As a result, detailed examination of major cities is enough to gain a perspective about that society.