victoriarichtst
Jan 29, 2014
Writing Feedback / The ocean is much like a woman; Descriptive piece about the ocean- 10 high level English [3]
The ocean is much like a woman; her mood dependent upon many factors, such as the weather and concept of time, determined by the position of the sun. The ocean may be unfriendly and stormy one minute; it's waves crashing against each other in an epic, long running battle. Or, the ocean may be tranquil and welcoming, with it's embracing droplets just the right temperature to relax in or just to look at. These two moods subject to change at any minute, much like the due date of your finals piece.
Although, the ocean is vast, so it can be both of those things at once. At one end of the earth, she may be calm and forgiving, ready to guide lost sailors to a place where they can call home, or they may discover new lands. On the other end, she may be challenging and unwilling to let up and give you a safe passage. She is almost like two different people all together, and when she is calm, it is almost impossible to imagine such a beauty could ever be so unforgiving. But alas, nothing stays the same when there are so many factors to consider. No matter what mood she is in, the sky hovering above her always holds such beauty and indescribable sights. Even with the bad, comes the good. Through the scariest storm, there is still such beauty in every lightning bolt and isolated rain shower, in every leap of a pod of dolphins, and every coral reef.
Never try to predict how she might act, however. Even the most experienced meteorologist, or skilled pirate may fail to foresee how she might react to your presence. Instead, treat her as a true woman; tread lightly, and understand that she is delicate. Understand that each and every creature in her deep, shadowy depths is like a child, no matter how stunning, unsightly, scarce, or plentiful.
Part of her beauty is that she seems to stretch for an age, then drop off the edge of the earth, but still stay at the same level. Although, as you head closer to the horizon, you see that it continues to run away, much like that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow that you seems to have been chasing you your whole life. The vast beauty of this highway for many different species is sometimes too much to take in in one little dip in the ocean. This drives many love stricken mortals to explore her watery depths, whether they sail her entirety in fiberglass or steel contraptions, or whether they compress and bottle air in old dented tanks and dive into her cold and unpredictable depths for a time.
Another part of her charm, is the ever changing colors. You could revisit one small section of the ocean every year at the same time of the year and not recognize even one square inch of it. Ever changing inhabitants, pollution levels, and depth all contribute to each day on the ocean being a completely new experience. This is an element of the ongoing love affair that an ever growing number of people seem to grow and develop, which can sometimes to be strong enough to last a lifetime for some, and just a season for others.
Current word length: 552
Target: 600-800
The Ocean
The ocean is much like a woman; her mood dependent upon many factors, such as the weather and concept of time, determined by the position of the sun. The ocean may be unfriendly and stormy one minute; it's waves crashing against each other in an epic, long running battle. Or, the ocean may be tranquil and welcoming, with it's embracing droplets just the right temperature to relax in or just to look at. These two moods subject to change at any minute, much like the due date of your finals piece.
Although, the ocean is vast, so it can be both of those things at once. At one end of the earth, she may be calm and forgiving, ready to guide lost sailors to a place where they can call home, or they may discover new lands. On the other end, she may be challenging and unwilling to let up and give you a safe passage. She is almost like two different people all together, and when she is calm, it is almost impossible to imagine such a beauty could ever be so unforgiving. But alas, nothing stays the same when there are so many factors to consider. No matter what mood she is in, the sky hovering above her always holds such beauty and indescribable sights. Even with the bad, comes the good. Through the scariest storm, there is still such beauty in every lightning bolt and isolated rain shower, in every leap of a pod of dolphins, and every coral reef.
Never try to predict how she might act, however. Even the most experienced meteorologist, or skilled pirate may fail to foresee how she might react to your presence. Instead, treat her as a true woman; tread lightly, and understand that she is delicate. Understand that each and every creature in her deep, shadowy depths is like a child, no matter how stunning, unsightly, scarce, or plentiful.
Part of her beauty is that she seems to stretch for an age, then drop off the edge of the earth, but still stay at the same level. Although, as you head closer to the horizon, you see that it continues to run away, much like that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow that you seems to have been chasing you your whole life. The vast beauty of this highway for many different species is sometimes too much to take in in one little dip in the ocean. This drives many love stricken mortals to explore her watery depths, whether they sail her entirety in fiberglass or steel contraptions, or whether they compress and bottle air in old dented tanks and dive into her cold and unpredictable depths for a time.
Another part of her charm, is the ever changing colors. You could revisit one small section of the ocean every year at the same time of the year and not recognize even one square inch of it. Ever changing inhabitants, pollution levels, and depth all contribute to each day on the ocean being a completely new experience. This is an element of the ongoing love affair that an ever growing number of people seem to grow and develop, which can sometimes to be strong enough to last a lifetime for some, and just a season for others.
Current word length: 552
Target: 600-800