ajaxmonkey
Mar 9, 2014
Undergraduate / Texas A&M Transfer SOP Essay: Only One Week Left [3]
I have started my essay and from here on it is like my mind has gone blank. What do you think of the essay so far? Is it great, good, ok, needs work, or GOD help me? Also what can I do to finish, maybe talk about my extension into chemistry classes and then a really good conclusion to catch the attention again?
[At the age of about six years old I learned the most shocking truth about my life, that I was adopted. It turns out that when I was three months old my real mother sent me to stay with my adopted mom for the weekend. It is hysterical to me how a weekend turned into the rest of my life. After discovering this secret I was able to met my older brother who was a year older than I was. The thing that was not told to me was that he had been diagnosed with bone cancer as a toddler. A little over a year later my brother passed away from complications. Since then, I have wanted to be a pediatrician so that I can work with children who may be just like him and keep as many people as I can from experiencing the same fate that fell upon my brother.
In my eyes what I wanted to advance in was not nutritional science, when in fact that's what it was the entire time. Since childhood I have always had an act for discovering new and different commodities. It may seem strange how I say I didn't know I wanted to advance into a nutritional science field but in fact it is the one hundred percent truth. What I was and still am interested in is; learning how people, objects, and different organisms go about daily life. This could easily be mistaken for biology, chemistry, or even psychology. I was being quite general for the longest until it occurred to me that everything I wanted to study; nutrition was the basis. How do animals, insects, and people survive on a daily basis? That answer would be a good source of nutrition. From that point on I was finally in the true direction I was missing.]
I have started my essay and from here on it is like my mind has gone blank. What do you think of the essay so far? Is it great, good, ok, needs work, or GOD help me? Also what can I do to finish, maybe talk about my extension into chemistry classes and then a really good conclusion to catch the attention again?
[At the age of about six years old I learned the most shocking truth about my life, that I was adopted. It turns out that when I was three months old my real mother sent me to stay with my adopted mom for the weekend. It is hysterical to me how a weekend turned into the rest of my life. After discovering this secret I was able to met my older brother who was a year older than I was. The thing that was not told to me was that he had been diagnosed with bone cancer as a toddler. A little over a year later my brother passed away from complications. Since then, I have wanted to be a pediatrician so that I can work with children who may be just like him and keep as many people as I can from experiencing the same fate that fell upon my brother.
In my eyes what I wanted to advance in was not nutritional science, when in fact that's what it was the entire time. Since childhood I have always had an act for discovering new and different commodities. It may seem strange how I say I didn't know I wanted to advance into a nutritional science field but in fact it is the one hundred percent truth. What I was and still am interested in is; learning how people, objects, and different organisms go about daily life. This could easily be mistaken for biology, chemistry, or even psychology. I was being quite general for the longest until it occurred to me that everything I wanted to study; nutrition was the basis. How do animals, insects, and people survive on a daily basis? That answer would be a good source of nutrition. From that point on I was finally in the true direction I was missing.]