Penny Chou
Aug 24, 2014
Writing Feedback / TOEFL: 'joining sport team' - the best way for students to make new friends? [3]
Thank you for grading my essay. I will appreciate you so much.
An increasing number of people begin to discuss the best way for students to make new friends. Many people are of the opinion that participating in community activities and traveling are best ways for a student to make new friends. However, I strongly assert that joining a sports team is absolutely suit for a student to make new friends.
Among the numerous reasons supporting such a claim, the most critical one is that it is easy and convenient for a student to make new friends in a sport team. That is, a sport team allows students have close relationships by practicing frequently. One research conducted by a university in Taiwan shows that students who have their own sport teams tend to be happier because they can share happiness and sorrow together. There are sport teams in every school, so it makes sure that students can join sports team if they want. It costs free or little fee to join a sport team. Therefore, it is good for students to make new friends by joining sport teams.
In contrasts, there is the viewpoint that participating in community activities or traveling is the best way for students to make new friends. There is a kernel of truth in this claim. Community activities such as visiting the old and sweeping the floor enable student to make friends with people in community by discussing on how to make an activity successful. On the other hands, traveling encourages students to meet people in different cultures. They can have many topics to talk about. Nevertheless, the advantages of joining sport teams far outweigh the ones of participating in community activities or traveling.
In sum, even though participating in community activities or traveling allows students to make new friends, joining sport team is the best way. In the future, hope that I will have chance to make new friends in a sport team.
Thank you for grading my essay. I will appreciate you so much.
An increasing number of people begin to discuss the best way for students to make new friends. Many people are of the opinion that participating in community activities and traveling are best ways for a student to make new friends. However, I strongly assert that joining a sports team is absolutely suit for a student to make new friends.
Among the numerous reasons supporting such a claim, the most critical one is that it is easy and convenient for a student to make new friends in a sport team. That is, a sport team allows students have close relationships by practicing frequently. One research conducted by a university in Taiwan shows that students who have their own sport teams tend to be happier because they can share happiness and sorrow together. There are sport teams in every school, so it makes sure that students can join sports team if they want. It costs free or little fee to join a sport team. Therefore, it is good for students to make new friends by joining sport teams.
In contrasts, there is the viewpoint that participating in community activities or traveling is the best way for students to make new friends. There is a kernel of truth in this claim. Community activities such as visiting the old and sweeping the floor enable student to make friends with people in community by discussing on how to make an activity successful. On the other hands, traveling encourages students to meet people in different cultures. They can have many topics to talk about. Nevertheless, the advantages of joining sport teams far outweigh the ones of participating in community activities or traveling.
In sum, even though participating in community activities or traveling allows students to make new friends, joining sport team is the best way. In the future, hope that I will have chance to make new friends in a sport team.