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Posts by Tajwinder
Name: Tajwinder Singh
Joined: Aug 30, 2014
Last Post: Sep 3, 2014
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 3
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Tajwinder   
Aug 30, 2014
Undergraduate / Virginia Tech: Stepping on Hokie Soil [7]

Question: What are the top five reasons you want to be a Hokie?

Instructions: Just need honest reviews about my short essay!

Essay:
The moment I stepped on Hokie soil and heard the words "Once a Hokie, always a Hokie" from my guide, I knew that this would be the university I would enjoy cultivating my engineering education in. There are a considerable amount of characteristics embraced by Tech that make it my first choice, but one of my most adored traits about Tech would be the extraordinary student body. During my first tour of the campus, it became easily distinguishable that the student body at Tech is exceptionally supportive towards one another as well as foreigners, like myself, through courteous actions performed throughout the campus. Along with the exceptional student body, Virginia Tech rewards the Hokie Nation with a vast amount of organizations to choose from, insuring that every Hokie can have extracurricular activities to anticipate after a long day of work. While I believe that a sense of community is an exceptionally important percentage when becoming a Hokie, education is also a key factor in the decision making process. Becoming a Hokie became tremendously favorable when I discovered what Engineering programs were offered, more precisely the scarce Aerospace program. Along with these attributes that make me want to join the Hokie Nation, the beauty of a small college town is essentially the binding to the book. By the time I am prepared to obtain my college degree, I want to bleed Chicago maroon and burnt orange from my veins with pride for becoming an everlasting member of the esteemed Hokie Nation.
Tajwinder   
Sep 3, 2014
Undergraduate / Virginia Tech: Stepping on Hokie Soil [7]

Okay so I made a few revisions, could you please tell me if this sounds better than the original and if I should adjust something else

Essay:

The moment I stepped on Hokie soil and heard the words "Once a Hokie, always a Hokie" from my tour guide, I knew that this would be the University. There are a considerable amount of characteristics embodied by Virginia Tech that make it my first choice, but one of my most honored traits would be the extraordinary student body. During my first tour of the campus, it became easily distinguishable that the student body at Tech is remarkably supportive towards one another as well as outsiders, such as myself, through courteous actions performed throughout the campus. Along with the exceptional student body, Tech rewards the Hokie Nation with a vast amount of organizations to choose from, ensuring that every Hokie can have extracurricular activities to anticipate after a long day. While I believe that a sense of community is very important when becoming a Hokie, education is also a major factor in the decision making process. Becoming a Hokie became a dream of mine when I realized the valuable Engineering programs offered at Virginia Tech, more precisely the Aerospace Engineering program. Along with these attributes that pull me to this University, the beauty of a small college town is the binding to the book. By the time I am ready to step foot out of Virginia Tech with a college degree, I want to bleed Chicago maroon and burnt orange from my veins with pride for becoming an everlasting member of the esteemed Hokie Nation.
Tajwinder   
Sep 3, 2014
Undergraduate / Virginia Tech: Stepping on Hokie Soil [7]

My four were the amazing student body, the vast amount of clubs offered, the Aerospace Engineering program, and the beauty of a small college town. I thought I had another one in the essay, I shall work on that then. And thank you for the feedback!
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