starlinks
Oct 26, 2014
Research Papers / The 'King Kongs' - Caltech - Honor Code Essay [10]
I had some trouble with this essay because I wanted to stay away from the trite 'I don't want to cheat on homework/tests' type of thing. However, I'm not quite sure if either of my essays really answer the prompt well. Please tell me which essay I wrote is better for the prompt, and how to edit it to make it better. Note that my second essay is about 80 words over the limit; if you can help me cut some redundant content out, that would be great!
Thank you so much for your help--I'll be sure to return the favor if you ask for it. :)
Members of the Caltech community live, learn, and work within an Honor System with one simple guideline; 'No member shall take unfair advantage of any other member of the Caltech community.' While seemingly simple, questions of ethics, honesty and integrity are sometimes puzzling. Share a difficult situation that has challenged you. What was your response, and how did you arrive at a solution? (200 word max)
1. The 'King Kongs', as my friends and I called them, were really just a couple of rude teenagers in my old apartment complex. They would situate themselves in the gated playgrounds (this area designed for ages 5-12...) everyday until the matron of the complex came and lock the gates at nine.
They were terrifying. If we dared to approach, KKs would laugh at how stupid we were for invading their territory and kick us away in the most literal sense. If we tried to sneak back timidly, they would "tell our parents that we were being difficult." This may seem petty, but the playground meant the whole world to us; there was no where else to play in Hong Kong.
I was eleven when I couldn't take it anymore; sure, we ought to respect people with more experience than we have, but it was tyranny. I rallied up every kid around the block and marched up to them, everyone else fanning behind me as I demanded our playground back. They threatened to lock us in the gates, but we stood. We finally brought attention to the administration of the entire complex, the parents, and the onlookers. Their rights to the playground was revoked by the security. We, the children, won our playground back.
Also, I just wrote up another one just now based on what happen today. I don't know if this idea is better. I'm having so much trouble with this prompt.
"Hey, Rainbow, can I take a look at your Physics homework?" Ryan asked during lunch time.
I was halfway to my backpack when I suspected that he didn't have it done yet. It is a custom for Physics AP students to check the answers with each other since only completion grades are taken. Mrs. Calandro trusts us to have the questions completed correctly.
[...]
I had some trouble with this essay because I wanted to stay away from the trite 'I don't want to cheat on homework/tests' type of thing. However, I'm not quite sure if either of my essays really answer the prompt well. Please tell me which essay I wrote is better for the prompt, and how to edit it to make it better. Note that my second essay is about 80 words over the limit; if you can help me cut some redundant content out, that would be great!
Thank you so much for your help--I'll be sure to return the favor if you ask for it. :)
Members of the Caltech community live, learn, and work within an Honor System with one simple guideline; 'No member shall take unfair advantage of any other member of the Caltech community.' While seemingly simple, questions of ethics, honesty and integrity are sometimes puzzling. Share a difficult situation that has challenged you. What was your response, and how did you arrive at a solution? (200 word max)
1. The 'King Kongs', as my friends and I called them, were really just a couple of rude teenagers in my old apartment complex. They would situate themselves in the gated playgrounds (this area designed for ages 5-12...) everyday until the matron of the complex came and lock the gates at nine.
They were terrifying. If we dared to approach, KKs would laugh at how stupid we were for invading their territory and kick us away in the most literal sense. If we tried to sneak back timidly, they would "tell our parents that we were being difficult." This may seem petty, but the playground meant the whole world to us; there was no where else to play in Hong Kong.
I was eleven when I couldn't take it anymore; sure, we ought to respect people with more experience than we have, but it was tyranny. I rallied up every kid around the block and marched up to them, everyone else fanning behind me as I demanded our playground back. They threatened to lock us in the gates, but we stood. We finally brought attention to the administration of the entire complex, the parents, and the onlookers. Their rights to the playground was revoked by the security. We, the children, won our playground back.
Also, I just wrote up another one just now based on what happen today. I don't know if this idea is better. I'm having so much trouble with this prompt.
"Hey, Rainbow, can I take a look at your Physics homework?" Ryan asked during lunch time.
I was halfway to my backpack when I suspected that he didn't have it done yet. It is a custom for Physics AP students to check the answers with each other since only completion grades are taken. Mrs. Calandro trusts us to have the questions completed correctly.
[...]