Undergraduate / A passion for volleybal - Columbia Supplemental essay [7]

Hey guys! I'm applying ED for Columbia and English isn't my first language so I was wondering if you have any advice for me about my essay down here:

Columbia supplemental essays: What single activity listed in the activity section of your Common Application are you most proud of and why? (150 words or less)

Volleyball has been my passion since I remember. When I was 10 I finally convinced my mom to let me play (she was hesitant as my sister got a hernia from volleyball) and it has been the best decision in my life so far. Winning regionals twice when I was a captain of the team gave me fulfillment, but what I have really learned from volleyball is that winning a game isn't a necessity. Losing a game can actually bring your team closer together and requires you to accept failure. To me, volleyball is much more than a sport. It relaxes me and at the same time gives me the adrenaline that I need after I have been studying for a test for three hours. After playing, my body might be tired, but my mind is more focused than ever, and thus helps me to study for my test.