huytran
Dec 4, 2015
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 : Working mothers cause the problems young people, agree or disagree? [NEW]
Essay Topic: The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, juvenile-related problems has become a major concern to many. So there exists the perception that a direct cause of the problem derived from mothers who choose full-time work instead of caring for their children. Personally, I feel that such a conclusion is naïve and I will support my opinion in this essay.
First of all, children may have no chance of education when their mother give up work. The reason for this is that it is family financial pressures. In fact, expenditure of a family in modern life, especially for education, often require two salaries coming into a family to be afforded. Therefore, in the end, a mother to give up her job can lead to a negative impact on accesses to education of her child.
The second point to consider is that the root of the problem about youth is much deeper than caring for of a mother. What I mean by this is that if we are serious about fixing juvenile-related problems, we need to look at the underlying issues: poverty, unemployment, the violent films and so on. Focusing on these problems would be more effective.
On the other hand, I think we can agree that mothers should spent more time to paying attention for their children. They should have a part-time job instead of full-time job. Because they should always remember that they are working for a better life with their family, not living to work.
In conclusion, while it is common belief that working mothers caused the problem o the young, I believe we should consider the root of the problem rather than working mothers.
Essay Topic: The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, juvenile-related problems has become a major concern to many. So there exists the perception that a direct cause of the problem derived from mothers who choose full-time work instead of caring for their children. Personally, I feel that such a conclusion is naïve and I will support my opinion in this essay.
First of all, children may have no chance of education when their mother give up work. The reason for this is that it is family financial pressures. In fact, expenditure of a family in modern life, especially for education, often require two salaries coming into a family to be afforded. Therefore, in the end, a mother to give up her job can lead to a negative impact on accesses to education of her child.
The second point to consider is that the root of the problem about youth is much deeper than caring for of a mother. What I mean by this is that if we are serious about fixing juvenile-related problems, we need to look at the underlying issues: poverty, unemployment, the violent films and so on. Focusing on these problems would be more effective.
On the other hand, I think we can agree that mothers should spent more time to paying attention for their children. They should have a part-time job instead of full-time job. Because they should always remember that they are working for a better life with their family, not living to work.
In conclusion, while it is common belief that working mothers caused the problem o the young, I believe we should consider the root of the problem rather than working mothers.