Undergraduate / Photography and art - wrong grammar of statement of intent for SVA [3]

TheA rt is an unlimited space. We need a lot of elements combined together to make us have the capability toable to knock on the door of the palace of art! HERE, t he school of visual arts , where can help me knock on ] the door and be a distinctive photographer.

The reasons for me pursuingas to why I want to study in the school of visual arts is so easy that I want to get more and more advanced in way of to be a photographermuch better in photography . As the dreamboat (? ) , here (The school ) is the best placeschool in New York city I have ever knownin New York city .

I had been studying studied at Lagudia community college beforeas amajoring in commercial photography major student .But later I dropped out the college. The reason cause me dropped out, because I found that feel the photography iswas very boring at that period time . When I left the school.Then, very luck!,however , I got hired by a social media company as the an Internship photographer. JustA fter a few months of doing the internship as a photographer, I were really falling in love withI then started to become very interested inthe photography. But as soon , I have found out that i have the limitation of I was aware that I am not good at photography . Even if theAlthough my colleagues alwayspraised me said, " L i ,you really take the really good pictures!". butStill I claritythink that it doesn'tthe pictures I take are never good enough., helplesslyAnd the bad thing is I don't know how to get improvefix it. That's It's why I want to get back to the school, especially to a great professional schoolin visual arts, (to learn and study photography again) ! I want to be an eligiblea really professional photographer who can shoot the impressingimpressive pictures toof the world.

Research Papers / A section of user study of my paper about visulization [2]

I'm attaching my feedback in jpg. format. Overall, the writing is good. But there are still some expressions whose meaning is not that clear yet. These expressions are indicated through underlines and question marks.

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Writing Feedback / Same curriculum across the nation will have detrimental effect upon the economic and human growth [3]

Hi Anurag,

Your writing flows quite smoothly. However, there are some sentences which I think need to be rewritten for better clarity. I have tried to put some notes on your first and second paragraph. Hope those will help. Anyway, good luck with your GRE test.

Author is suggesting that everyone in a nation should study under the same national curriculum. T his may be helpful in arousing the feeling of nationalism inamong the younger people of the nation but in a long term it may have detrimental effects on the overall economic and human growth and the development of the nation.

Evolution and innovationsmay happen in a nation whenif we try to question the existing rules and cultures of the nation. Evolution may be a culture evolution.like In case of India, for instance, there was a rigid cast system. I f from Independence, everyone wasin India had been taught under the same national curriculum that we should have followedthis samethe caste system andthat there should be a difference between a human ofthose in a lower caste and a human of and those in an upper caste, then this caste system would havestill continued till nowtoday .