PribsHolic
Jul 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / As contemporary music is becoming more popular, we tend to forget about traditional music. IELTS2 [4]
Hi All, I'm new in here and I really need a coach to assess my writing skill.
Topic: There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?
We frequently see some people with the earphone attached to their ear in many public places. Enjoying a melody while they're doing something else like reading a book, working on their task, even sleeping. It looks as if music has been becoming necessity to our life.
There are a wide range of reasons to enjoy music. For some people listening to music is able to relieve the stress they had. It is understandable in a more demanding and globalized world like now, we as a human are forced to work harder and done it in a way that is as efficient as possible. And listening to music is the simplest entertainment that we can have to ease our burden.
The other, and it might be prevailed to artists, is they use music to express their emotion. If they are in love they will write love-themed music, or they can write music to give critics to the government for what they had done, or maybe about humanity as well.
And If we want to take it further into a sophisticated science research, some scientists argue that music, particularly classical music, can enhance our brain function. At first, they believed one who can play instrumental music such as piano can improve their cognitive ability. But recent research showed, one doesn't need to be able to play a musical instrument to increase their ability, but simply just listen to classical music.
However, as contemporary music is becoming more popular, we tend to forget about traditional music. In this view I don't say that traditional music is more important than contemporary music, in my opinion there is no such thing that one is better than another in terms of music. But we shouldn't forget our traditional music as the identity of one country. Traditional music is a kind of our culture that we need to preserve it to the next generation.
Please give feedback to my answers. Thanks in advance
Hi All, I'm new in here and I really need a coach to assess my writing skill.
Topic: There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?
We frequently see some people with the earphone attached to their ear in many public places. Enjoying a melody while they're doing something else like reading a book, working on their task, even sleeping. It looks as if music has been becoming necessity to our life.
There are a wide range of reasons to enjoy music. For some people listening to music is able to relieve the stress they had. It is understandable in a more demanding and globalized world like now, we as a human are forced to work harder and done it in a way that is as efficient as possible. And listening to music is the simplest entertainment that we can have to ease our burden.
The other, and it might be prevailed to artists, is they use music to express their emotion. If they are in love they will write love-themed music, or they can write music to give critics to the government for what they had done, or maybe about humanity as well.
And If we want to take it further into a sophisticated science research, some scientists argue that music, particularly classical music, can enhance our brain function. At first, they believed one who can play instrumental music such as piano can improve their cognitive ability. But recent research showed, one doesn't need to be able to play a musical instrument to increase their ability, but simply just listen to classical music.
However, as contemporary music is becoming more popular, we tend to forget about traditional music. In this view I don't say that traditional music is more important than contemporary music, in my opinion there is no such thing that one is better than another in terms of music. But we shouldn't forget our traditional music as the identity of one country. Traditional music is a kind of our culture that we need to preserve it to the next generation.
Please give feedback to my answers. Thanks in advance
