shiyachuan
Aug 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / This is a 7 year old children's English homework, mother tongue is not English, I do not understand. [3]
Once upon a time, there is child his name is Aladdin. He lived with his mother. They are very poor and their life was very hard, because he was lazy and he didn't go to work every day. One day, He met a man who said he is Aladdin's uncle. He gave Aladdin a lot of money and Aladdin very believed him and he promised Aladdin would have big shop the "uncle" bought a new and expensive coat. He was very happy. They drank the coffee, taught with people, and ate a very good dinner. It was a wonderful day for Aladdin on Friday when the market was closed "uncle" took he to the mountain gardens in the city, then "uncle" took he info the mountain. He said this garden is more beautiful the grader in city, on the mountain, he mode a fire then, he said a stranger sentence:ABRACAPABRA. After a minute, the sky went dark. Black smoke came from the fire, the ground under the fire began to open and in the ground there was now a big white stone with a ring in it. Aladdin was very a fried. He began to run away, the "uncle" said he should like a man then he went inside and took he wants old lamp, but he find it slowly and the "uncle" close the cliff, then he open the lamp and the lamp help he went out, that lamp can help people to achieve the aspiration of lamp. He had a rich life, 5 years later. He loved princess, the lamp mode a castle gale princess, but "uncle" know, he stole the lamp , princess and castle, the he came to 非洲 found the princess and killed the "uncle", they had a good life.
Once upon a time, there is child his name is Aladdin. He lived with his mother. They are very poor and their life was very hard, because he was lazy and he didn't go to work every day. One day, He met a man who said he is Aladdin's uncle. He gave Aladdin a lot of money and Aladdin very believed him and he promised Aladdin would have big shop the "uncle" bought a new and expensive coat. He was very happy. They drank the coffee, taught with people, and ate a very good dinner. It was a wonderful day for Aladdin on Friday when the market was closed "uncle" took he to the mountain gardens in the city, then "uncle" took he info the mountain. He said this garden is more beautiful the grader in city, on the mountain, he mode a fire then, he said a stranger sentence:ABRACAPABRA. After a minute, the sky went dark. Black smoke came from the fire, the ground under the fire began to open and in the ground there was now a big white stone with a ring in it. Aladdin was very a fried. He began to run away, the "uncle" said he should like a man then he went inside and took he wants old lamp, but he find it slowly and the "uncle" close the cliff, then he open the lamp and the lamp help he went out, that lamp can help people to achieve the aspiration of lamp. He had a rich life, 5 years later. He loved princess, the lamp mode a castle gale princess, but "uncle" know, he stole the lamp , princess and castle, the he came to 非洲 found the princess and killed the "uncle", they had a good life.