Writing Feedback / TOEFL; Television Versus Friends and family [13]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television
has destroyed communication among friends and family. Use
specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
We are know that television provides us many benefits; it helps people relax, helps keep up with news, helps broad our mind. However, have you ever thought that television has destroyed communication among friends and family? I personally consider this fact as the harmful thing that television has brought upon us.

First of all, since people watch television too much, they can be isolated from others. Children, for example, pay more attention on movies, music show provided by television and do not want to do anything else such as going to school or practicing exercise with friends will be taken apart by others. Gradually, their friends leave them behind either activities or studying.

Secondly, with the rapid change of the standard of life, each family has three or four TV in each room is more common. Parents and even children do not want to communicate with each other instead of watching TV in their own room. As a consequence, children will learn behavior from what they see on TV not from their parents. Moreover, parents are not able to function their parental care as the necessary thing to children. In this way, communication between family members is visibly destroyed.

Last but not least, watching too much television people will unconsciously learn bad behavior that sow division among human. For example, watching film about terrorist children will be able to consider terrorism as a right thing. What happens if they do act exactly the terrorist in Hollywood movies does? is this one of the reason cause division in society?

In conclusion, though television has some good sides, it has destroyed communication among friends and family. We need to quickly find the way to address this problem as soon as possible and the first concern is to reducing violent behaviors that children learn from television.

Please correct for me.Thanks in advance.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL: Movies or television now play an important role in our life [14]

How do movies or television influence people's behavior? Use reasons
and specific examples to support your answer.
Movies or television now play an important role in our life. Many people consider these things as part of their life, that mean they even can not live without them. Do movies or television have any influences on our behavior? The answer is yes.

First of all, People often use movies or television for relaxing after a hard day at school or work. For example, my mother usually feel very tired after 8 hours working at her company; as time like that, she always lay on the sofa watching movies or other programs on television. In this way, movies or television help movies fresh her mind, release stress. If she do not taking any short rest watching movies, she will blame me for everything wrong.

Secondly, movies or television with their programs have been helping us keep up with news on daily life. This thing has a direct influence on our behavior. After a hurricane, for instance, TV often report news on its program; from this we will know the results of this disaster, we feel sorry, compassionate for the victims of catastrophic weather. This help us realize that we are happy than other and we need to do something good for less fortuner. We will become less cruel, will feel life more meaningful.

Nevertheless, if we use movies or television unwisely, they can turn to harmful and children will be the first victims. Watching violent film or sex movies will damage children's behavior. Children's mind is blank, they will learn and act the same what they see. Gun will be considered a good tool and playing with gun is a useful game if children watch too much action movies without any observation.

In conclusion, movies or television both influence on our behavior in many ways. The important thing is we have to know how to use they wisely, especially parents must monitor what their kids watching and they need to save their business time in order to watching movies together with children.

Is the second paragrap wrong when i did not meation behavior in this? How can i change?