zyx678
Oct 24, 2016
Undergraduate / Having a conversation is not easy and effortless for me. My struggle with social anxiety. [2]
Having a conversation is easy and effortless for some people, but not for me. Growing up I was an extremely shy child. My mother would force me to go play with other kids, but I was too timid. As I grew a little older, I started making friends on my own, even though it was pretty intimidating. However, many of my friends moved away because they were in a military family. Thus, I had to begin the whole process of making new friends again, and, for me, that is really difficult.
I remember as a kid some of my friends asked me to play with them. I asked my mother if I could go to a friends house or go to the mall and she always said no. My mother refused to let me go out unless she knew my friends' parents. More often than not, my mother didn't know them and I was not allowed to go out. I finally made some friends, but I was not allowed to hang out with them. Being so young, I listened to my mother and never argued, so I never got to socialize much. Eventually, I just gave up asking and never socialized much outside of school. Of course I understand my mother did it out of love and protection for me. However, it did not help my social life.
Today I am better at making friends, but I struggle with conversations, even small talk! When I have a conversation, my mind goes completely blank, but simultaneously a million questions go through my head. What do I say next? Will what I say carry on the conversation? Am I talking too much about myself? Should I tell a story? Will my story be funny or even get a response? All these questions and many, many more happen all within a couple of seconds. My palms get sweaty and I forget to focus on what the other person is talking about. I struggle to even talk to my friend that I've known since pre-school! Imagine how I feel when I'm talking to a stranger! A couple of years ago I finally had enough of feeling this way and decided I needed change.
About two years ago I decided to join as many clubs as I could in school. I hoped it would help me meet new people and socialize more. I joined LINK Crew, Network Club, Pre-Med Club, Beavercreek Youth Council, National Honor Society, and Interact Club. After joining the clubs I've met many new people and have made new friends. Now whenever there are club meetings, I always look forward to seeing them. In addition to clubs, I got a job at Aeropostale this past summer. I wanted to push myself to overcome my social anxiety. At work all employees are required to greet customers and ask if they need assistance. The first few days at work was exciting and nerve-racking. I was so nervous to talk to strangers I was shaking for a while. After some experience, I don't feel as nervous but I still lack the confidence for small talk.
Social anxiety has been a part of me for as long as I can remember. Simple conversations have my heart racing and make my mind go blank. I still always push myself to try new things, like when I recently helped serving people at an Air Force event! I am still trying to overcome my social anxiety and hopefully one day I will be able to have relaxed conversations.
Having a conversation is easy and effortless for some people, but not for me. Growing up I was an extremely shy child. My mother would force me to go play with other kids, but I was too timid. As I grew a little older, I started making friends on my own, even though it was pretty intimidating. However, many of my friends moved away because they were in a military family. Thus, I had to begin the whole process of making new friends again, and, for me, that is really difficult.
I remember as a kid some of my friends asked me to play with them. I asked my mother if I could go to a friends house or go to the mall and she always said no. My mother refused to let me go out unless she knew my friends' parents. More often than not, my mother didn't know them and I was not allowed to go out. I finally made some friends, but I was not allowed to hang out with them. Being so young, I listened to my mother and never argued, so I never got to socialize much. Eventually, I just gave up asking and never socialized much outside of school. Of course I understand my mother did it out of love and protection for me. However, it did not help my social life.
Today I am better at making friends, but I struggle with conversations, even small talk! When I have a conversation, my mind goes completely blank, but simultaneously a million questions go through my head. What do I say next? Will what I say carry on the conversation? Am I talking too much about myself? Should I tell a story? Will my story be funny or even get a response? All these questions and many, many more happen all within a couple of seconds. My palms get sweaty and I forget to focus on what the other person is talking about. I struggle to even talk to my friend that I've known since pre-school! Imagine how I feel when I'm talking to a stranger! A couple of years ago I finally had enough of feeling this way and decided I needed change.
About two years ago I decided to join as many clubs as I could in school. I hoped it would help me meet new people and socialize more. I joined LINK Crew, Network Club, Pre-Med Club, Beavercreek Youth Council, National Honor Society, and Interact Club. After joining the clubs I've met many new people and have made new friends. Now whenever there are club meetings, I always look forward to seeing them. In addition to clubs, I got a job at Aeropostale this past summer. I wanted to push myself to overcome my social anxiety. At work all employees are required to greet customers and ask if they need assistance. The first few days at work was exciting and nerve-racking. I was so nervous to talk to strangers I was shaking for a while. After some experience, I don't feel as nervous but I still lack the confidence for small talk.
Social anxiety has been a part of me for as long as I can remember. Simple conversations have my heart racing and make my mind go blank. I still always push myself to try new things, like when I recently helped serving people at an Air Force event! I am still trying to overcome my social anxiety and hopefully one day I will be able to have relaxed conversations.