Posts by inmagab

inmagab

Jan 3, 2017

Undergraduate / New environment, educational system and fresh attitude. Why The New School? - International student [5]

I guess a moderator edited my post, I definitely didn't mean my performance was bad in my home country, I just need a change. Maybe I should focus more on the specific college part and less on myself.

@zumbastrol, maybe you could tell me a few examples instead of telling me my grammar is awful? That'd be super helpful. Also, I'm gonna try anyway. Who knows, maybe I do get in and improve my English.

inmagab

Jan 3, 2017

Scholarship / I feel pride in the fact that my job is to save the planet earth [3]

... for this internship in Germany because Germany is ...
... is a top priority in Germanyhere .
... German economy is the greenest ...
Germans are following a strategy ...
Germany has a dominant market ...
... Germany's environmental footprint.

The essay as a whole is very good, but I find this paragraph quite redundant. Maybe you could try to change some of the "Germany"s?

inmagab

Jan 3, 2017

Undergraduate / New environment, educational system and fresh attitude. Why The New School? - International student [5]

I'm applying to Eugene Lang College and I have to write an essay explaining why I chose The New School. Here's the prompt and the essay I have written:

Why The New School?

We would like to know more about your interest in joining our community and why you would be a good fit for The New School. ... (500 - 650 words)

Om performance at school in a home country, time to move on

About 10 years into my school career, I realized I wasn't good at studying. I failed a test for the first time, I couldn't concentrate on anything for more than five minutes, and my anxiety levels grew and grew every time I thought about my future. I just could not understand why I had to learn things I wasn't interested in.

By the time I started Bachillerato (11th and 12th grade in the US) I had decided I didn't want to go to a regular university. I needed a place where I could decide what I learnt and what I didn't.

So, when everyone from my teachers to my grandma started asking me what I was going to do when high school ended, I didn't know what to say. I had no idea about what I wanted to do with my life.

So I did what every teenager would have done: ask the internet. And an idea popped right in front of my eyes: studying abroad. I could move to another country, at least for four years, and try a new way of life and a new educational system. I started daydreaming about how my university would look like. I would go to a small liberal college in a big city, and I would take classes that really interested me.

The New School offers all I dreamed of. It's a small college in a really big city, New York City, and it has an open curriculum with interesting, specific classes. I'm really interested in psychology, sociology and anthropology; anything that studies human behavior, honestly. I'm not sure just yet if I'd major in one of them or if I should create my own major, but that's the great thing about the curriculum: you can find out later on. I'm also interested in gender studies. After reading lots of comments about this school online, and visiting NYC this summer, I have no doubt this is the perfect college for me. (329 words)

I'm a bit short, any suggestions?