Writing Feedback / To what extent you agree with the idea that some teenagers lead an unhealthy lifestyle? [2]

Hi^^ I wrote this essay yesterday for my assignment yesterday. I thought it was alright and my point were

-lack of physical activity
-eating too much fast food
-lack of interaction with people in the real world

I didn't know how to elaborate on my last point and got a good scolding for producing a pretty rubbish paragraph... I need to rewrite it now and I changed the last point to teenagers not having enough sleep. Hope that my elaborations make sense and match the topic.

Thanks in advance for reading and commenting on it^^

most of young people don't care about their health

I definitely agree that some teenagers today lead an unhealthy lifestyle. As far as I know, this subject has aroused much attention of the public, especially their parents. As is known to everyone, leading a healthy lifestyle is so important for those who try to get somewhere, not excepting students. There are several reasons why many teenagers nowadays fall victim to unhealthy life. Some of them are as follows.

To begin with, teenagers today are spending lesser time outdoor to participate in physical activities. This is because most of them choose playing PC games and watching television at home over going ou to exerciset. Physical activities, for instance , jogging , swimming and playing badminton, contribute a lot to one's health. Researches have shown that those who engage themselves in regular exercise are healthier and unlikely to fall sick. Moreover, regular exercise is the best cure for chronic diseases, heart disease, diabetes and asthma, to name a few. Despite the numerous benefit involved in exercising, teenagers are unwilling to spend their time and effort on it. Such unhealthy lifestyle led by them may have detrimental effect on them both physically and mentally.

What's worse, more teenagers nowadays are frequenting fast food restaurants for their meals. This is unhealthful as fast food is oily, salty and greasy. Unlike home-cooked food, much MSG and seasonings is added to boost the flavors of the dish. As a result, there is an growing number of teenagers who suffer from obesity. The risk of getting fatal diseases, for example, coronary heart disease, high blood pressure and diabetes, spikes when one is obese. If the authorities concerned keep ignoring this, this issue may get worse. And the final result is that the society as a whole will suffer from serious health problems.

Above all, teenagers today tend to stay up late and are not getting enough sleep. In my opinion, there are two main reasons for this. Firstly, they have the habit of indulgig themselves in communicating with their firends on social media or playing games on their gadgets. Most teenagers today are so addicted to their devices and they can barely imagine a life without it. The craveing to spend as much time as possible with it drives them to sacrifice their valuable sleeping hours to do so. Secondly, they burn the midnight oil to prepare for their exams in schools. The great emphasis on academic results gives rise to the competitive environment in schools. In other words, students have to work harder now to get their As in school exams. Many of them, as a result, decide to burn the midnight oil and sacrifice their sleep for better grades. Nevertheless, the catastrophic effect on both their mind and body due to the lack of sleep is not worth any of it. They may forget things easily and their immune system may be weekened this way.

In view of this, parents and teachers should help teenagers to rectify their bad habits and adopt a healthy lifestyle. A sound soul dwells in a strong body. This is the case with teenagers leading a healthy lifestyle and benefit from it for the rest of their lives.