sophia1942
Oct 10, 2017
Writing Feedback / [TOEFL independent task] What events (experiences or ceremonies) make a person an adult? [3]
Please give me some advice about my essay.
People recognize a difference between children and adults. What events (experiences or ceremonies) make a person an adult? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer.
ANS:
There is a huge gap between children and adults. It ranges from behavior to thoughts. We may easily tell the mature adult from innocent children due to these patterns. What kind of events that causes this change? People may raise varied aspects as an answer. As for me, I would say, it definitely will be those 'turning points' in their life. And I'll describe it in the following.
Being left behind will make children an adult. It's a extremely heartbroken situation, but we must admit it. For example, China has experienced its rapid develop rate recent years. The GDP of China had become the top 2 in the world--just behind America. And numerous foreign companies set up their office in China, like Johnson & Johnson, etc. In fact, manufacture workers have paid much effort into the rapid development. The workers come to big cities seeking for opportunities, which means their kids could only be left at home. The responsibility of caring the whole family has left on their shoulders: they need to care for the young and the old; they will cook for them; even some will drop the school so that their younger sister of brother could go to primary school. Everything has forced them to be grown up and mature enough.
The children with a broken family would be acting like an adult. In those family, the responsibilities of parents will be passed to the young children. In order to carry that on, what choice do they have other than being mature? I had a good friend in high school. Unfortunately, his parents has been divorced since he was only 10 year old. When I first met him, I just thought that he was such a gentle guy--as mature as an adult. Later when we were in a relationship, I finally knew these stories about him. Because of their divorcement, he was raised up by his grandparents. Their body was not that healthy enough, so most of the time he needed to care for them. He tells me that at that time it was really a big shock for him which almost makes him grow up over a night.
Those 'turning-points' I mentioned above are really a turning in a child's life. After that, there lives would have a reversion: some are forced to live alone while others are forced to carry the burden which are beyond their abilities. In order to carry them on, they have no other options to choose but accept it and become mature. That's what makes a sincere children become a mature adult.
Please give me some advice about my essay.
People recognize a difference between children and adults. What events (experiences or ceremonies) make a person an adult? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer.
ANS:
child/adult turning-point
There is a huge gap between children and adults. It ranges from behavior to thoughts. We may easily tell the mature adult from innocent children due to these patterns. What kind of events that causes this change? People may raise varied aspects as an answer. As for me, I would say, it definitely will be those 'turning points' in their life. And I'll describe it in the following.
Being left behind will make children an adult. It's a extremely heartbroken situation, but we must admit it. For example, China has experienced its rapid develop rate recent years. The GDP of China had become the top 2 in the world--just behind America. And numerous foreign companies set up their office in China, like Johnson & Johnson, etc. In fact, manufacture workers have paid much effort into the rapid development. The workers come to big cities seeking for opportunities, which means their kids could only be left at home. The responsibility of caring the whole family has left on their shoulders: they need to care for the young and the old; they will cook for them; even some will drop the school so that their younger sister of brother could go to primary school. Everything has forced them to be grown up and mature enough.
The children with a broken family would be acting like an adult. In those family, the responsibilities of parents will be passed to the young children. In order to carry that on, what choice do they have other than being mature? I had a good friend in high school. Unfortunately, his parents has been divorced since he was only 10 year old. When I first met him, I just thought that he was such a gentle guy--as mature as an adult. Later when we were in a relationship, I finally knew these stories about him. Because of their divorcement, he was raised up by his grandparents. Their body was not that healthy enough, so most of the time he needed to care for them. He tells me that at that time it was really a big shock for him which almost makes him grow up over a night.
Those 'turning-points' I mentioned above are really a turning in a child's life. After that, there lives would have a reversion: some are forced to live alone while others are forced to carry the burden which are beyond their abilities. In order to carry them on, they have no other options to choose but accept it and become mature. That's what makes a sincere children become a mature adult.