Undergraduate / University of Michigan diversity essay (a mission trip) [6]

Share an experience through which you have gained respect for intellectual, social, or cultural differences. Comment on how your personal experiences and achievements would contribute to the diversity of the University of Michigan

In July 2008, I went on a mission trip to Oceana, West Virginia with the youth group from my church. As our caravan rolled through the hilly terrain of southern West Virginia, I noticed the beautiful valleys around me as well as all the unpaved roads and shabby houses dotting the street. This was quite different from my surroundings in Novi, Michigan. I was placed in a work group with a bunch of high school students from around the country.

Our goal that week was to help a lady named Brenda, who lived in a broken down mobile home. The house did not have a roof and toilet. The only furniture inside is a rotting desk, a couple of shaking chairs and a shabby bed. Despite the difficult living conditions Brenda faced however, she was very positive about life and never lost her faith in God. Brenda told us she really appreciated having clean water to drink and shoes to wear. Those were things I had taken for granted, but not anymore. Over the course of the week, we helped put a roof over Brenda's house, painted her deck, and changed her toilet among other things. But Brenda wasn't the one who really needed help. It was me.

Through my trip to West Virginia, I gained a new perspective on the diversity of this nation. I have become much more down-to-earth and appreciative of the opportunities that I have. My experiences in West Virginia will allow me to bring a positive and thanksgiving attitude to help me to work hard and focus on the bright side of everything.

I need a lot of help on this essay, it's pretty bad right now. Suggestions, comments? Anything would help.