coaster23
Sep 11, 2009
coaster23
Sep 8, 2009
Undergraduate / Essay on Persistence [5]
This is my first draft. Would appreciate prompt feedback/criticisms. Thank you!
Describe a valuable experience where you were able to achieve your objective because you were persistent (in at least 50 words and not more than 200 words)
One specific event in my life that has reinforced my level of persistence is my participation in a dance performance at a teacher's day concert during my secondary school years. I remembered seeing my classmates moving, twirling, and executing each dance step flawlessly. I aspired to be the same strong graceful figures that they were. The moves they were doing seemed so beyond me that before I started I was already feeling overwhelmed. However, I was determined to perfect the moves and put up an outstanding show for the teachers. In the two months leading up to the performance, I spent four hours everyday to learn, memorize and practice the dance steps because I knew I had to make up for the skills that my classmates had. It was very tough as I had to strike a balance between my studies and dance practices. On the day of the concert, I completed the whole dance impeccably. I value this experience because I learned that if I had given up, I would never know what I am capable of.
Word Count: 178
This is my first draft. Would appreciate prompt feedback/criticisms. Thank you!
Describe a valuable experience where you were able to achieve your objective because you were persistent (in at least 50 words and not more than 200 words)
One specific event in my life that has reinforced my level of persistence is my participation in a dance performance at a teacher's day concert during my secondary school years. I remembered seeing my classmates moving, twirling, and executing each dance step flawlessly. I aspired to be the same strong graceful figures that they were. The moves they were doing seemed so beyond me that before I started I was already feeling overwhelmed. However, I was determined to perfect the moves and put up an outstanding show for the teachers. In the two months leading up to the performance, I spent four hours everyday to learn, memorize and practice the dance steps because I knew I had to make up for the skills that my classmates had. It was very tough as I had to strike a balance between my studies and dance practices. On the day of the concert, I completed the whole dance impeccably. I value this experience because I learned that if I had given up, I would never know what I am capable of.
Word Count: 178