Writing Feedback / Some people hold the view that young generation is proper for important positions in governments [3]

I'm not a professional( A student in actual fact) but this is my suggestions. Feel free to take a look at it!

Some people hold the view are of the fervent conviction that (this is a bit more severe but it's a part of my template :) young generation people is good suffieciently competent for important instrumental positions in national governments. ... the elderly is better more qualified for these jobs. In the following paragraphs, ... (Actually you dont need this kind of sentence, since time should be invested in the body paragraphs)

The old ones (Never, ever use ones for people, it's not academic, you should use people here, it's fine to reuse some words) usually don't have ...

In the other hand (Wrong, it must be On the other hand. Also, should it be right, it is still an inconsistent structure, you should use on the other side) with age comes wisdom; ...

... We cannot apply ... periods of time. (Should be a conclusion here, or else it will be kinda a run-on sentence, I recommend begin it with a comma and the word "therefore")