QuynhNga
Oct 19, 2019
Writing Feedback / Should children be allowed to make their choices on everyday matters? [2]
Hi everyone, I am a Vietnamese student and I am preparing for my IELTS test with Writing skill. I hope you can fix my essay and score it in IELTS band. Many thanks!
Many people argue that allowing their children to make their own decisions on everyday matters may create a society of individuals who only think about theirselve, not about others. In my opinion, it is necessary for children to decide what they want and take responsibility for it.
On the one hand, children who usually make decisions on their own can become more independent when they grow up. A recent survey in UK illustrated that children who are given permission to choose what they want have better independences than those who are not. A further benefit is that pupils can be more relaxed. It is unnecessary for them to think about what others judge their behaviors and they can do whatever they want without being under pressure. The third circumstance is that schoolchildren will have more opportunities to broaden their horizon. They always need to find information before deciding doing something and that will give them more knowledge. Last but not least, most of children who can make their own decisions will know how to be a responsible person. They know that they have to take responsibility for whatever they do, although it can have negative effect beside positive one.
On the other hand, people who are too independent have some sides. In other words, they are called conceited and selfish people. The first disadvantage is that selfish people always think about theirselve, do not care about anyone else which leads to the fact that they will not have anyone to rely on when they get into troubles. Being conceited makes people do not know about their weaknesses is considered as the second disadvantage. They are too confident, on their minds, they are always right and they can not recognize their weaknesses. That leads to a serious problem-they will do the same mistake again and again.
In conclusion, children who are allowed to choose what they want can grow up better than who are not. But they need to know how to avoid negative effects of being independent.
Hi everyone, I am a Vietnamese student and I am preparing for my IELTS test with Writing skill. I hope you can fix my essay and score it in IELTS band. Many thanks!
independent children
Many people argue that allowing their children to make their own decisions on everyday matters may create a society of individuals who only think about theirselve, not about others. In my opinion, it is necessary for children to decide what they want and take responsibility for it.
On the one hand, children who usually make decisions on their own can become more independent when they grow up. A recent survey in UK illustrated that children who are given permission to choose what they want have better independences than those who are not. A further benefit is that pupils can be more relaxed. It is unnecessary for them to think about what others judge their behaviors and they can do whatever they want without being under pressure. The third circumstance is that schoolchildren will have more opportunities to broaden their horizon. They always need to find information before deciding doing something and that will give them more knowledge. Last but not least, most of children who can make their own decisions will know how to be a responsible person. They know that they have to take responsibility for whatever they do, although it can have negative effect beside positive one.
On the other hand, people who are too independent have some sides. In other words, they are called conceited and selfish people. The first disadvantage is that selfish people always think about theirselve, do not care about anyone else which leads to the fact that they will not have anyone to rely on when they get into troubles. Being conceited makes people do not know about their weaknesses is considered as the second disadvantage. They are too confident, on their minds, they are always right and they can not recognize their weaknesses. That leads to a serious problem-they will do the same mistake again and again.
In conclusion, children who are allowed to choose what they want can grow up better than who are not. But they need to know how to avoid negative effects of being independent.