Undergraduate / U of Michigan- LSA Essay [3]

I think your introduction is great, because it both draws me in as a reader and shows me that you really are passionate about physics. But, what do you want to do with the answers to your questions? As the poster above said, you need to be more specific.

Also - watch out for the commas! This essay is filled with commas, many of them in the wrong place, and that can be very distracting.