juanna_13
Jun 19, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS - Essay about whether school should teach traditional subjects or practical knowledge. [2]
Hello, please help me check my IELTS writing task 2. Thank you in advance for your feedback.
Schools concentrate far too much on traditional subjects which do not adequately prepare students for the realistic demands of the modern working world.
Creating a proper curriculum for school is always a matter of many educators. There is an existing idea that a great concentration is made on traditional subjects, which is supposed to be no longer adequate to equip job-orientated skills for students. While many people find feasible subjects lucrative, others insist on the benefits of long-established ones. Pondering upon this issue, I hold a strong interest on the later perception.
First and foremost, a more secured success in recruitment is what I put in my priority. What students expected to gain after school is high skill of knowledge acquisition, which is highly likely to guarantee successful employment in the future. It cannot be denied that academic basis provided by schools is inevitably pivotal in the modern society. Thanks to schools' priority in primarily focusing on theoretical subjects, students will inaugurate the skills, theories they gain during study progress into practice. For instance, based on different types of writing styles pupils learn at school, they have high skills of writing CV. Therefore, students are offered a great chance of recruitment and become qualified employees.
The further point holds no less importance in my argument is all-round development of students. Needless to say, traditional subjects play a fundamental role in imparting academic and professional knowledge. First of all, in the process of learning science subjects, such as Mathematics, Physics, Chemistry, Biology, critical, analytical thinking skills which are valuable experiences and make individuals dominant in workplace will be promoted. Moreover, studying History will broaden one's horizons on different ancient civilizations motivate them to explore diverse cultures. Similarly, while reading pages in Literature, both vocabulary and imagination will scale up and enhance. By and large, those who attain academic knowledge have irrefutable advantages in the modern working world.
In conclusion, success in future recruitment and all-round development are tenable reason for my preference. Taking my analysis into meticulous consideration, I believe that students whose have learning spirits will stand more opportunity to glorify their future.
Hello, please help me check my IELTS writing task 2. Thank you in advance for your feedback.
Schools concentrate far too much on traditional subjects which do not adequately prepare students for the realistic demands of the modern working world.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Creating a proper curriculum for school is always a matter of many educators. There is an existing idea that a great concentration is made on traditional subjects, which is supposed to be no longer adequate to equip job-orientated skills for students. While many people find feasible subjects lucrative, others insist on the benefits of long-established ones. Pondering upon this issue, I hold a strong interest on the later perception.
First and foremost, a more secured success in recruitment is what I put in my priority. What students expected to gain after school is high skill of knowledge acquisition, which is highly likely to guarantee successful employment in the future. It cannot be denied that academic basis provided by schools is inevitably pivotal in the modern society. Thanks to schools' priority in primarily focusing on theoretical subjects, students will inaugurate the skills, theories they gain during study progress into practice. For instance, based on different types of writing styles pupils learn at school, they have high skills of writing CV. Therefore, students are offered a great chance of recruitment and become qualified employees.
The further point holds no less importance in my argument is all-round development of students. Needless to say, traditional subjects play a fundamental role in imparting academic and professional knowledge. First of all, in the process of learning science subjects, such as Mathematics, Physics, Chemistry, Biology, critical, analytical thinking skills which are valuable experiences and make individuals dominant in workplace will be promoted. Moreover, studying History will broaden one's horizons on different ancient civilizations motivate them to explore diverse cultures. Similarly, while reading pages in Literature, both vocabulary and imagination will scale up and enhance. By and large, those who attain academic knowledge have irrefutable advantages in the modern working world.
In conclusion, success in future recruitment and all-round development are tenable reason for my preference. Taking my analysis into meticulous consideration, I believe that students whose have learning spirits will stand more opportunity to glorify their future.
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