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Aug 10, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS Cambridge 13 test 2 writing task 1: bar chart on households owning and renting accommodation [3]
IELTS Cambridge 13 test 2 writing task 1: bar chart on households owning and renting accommodation
Thanks you for giving any feedback or comments. I am not really sure whether my essay is appropriate or not, especially for my structure. So, please give me suggestions on improving my writing. Thanks a lot again!:)
1) The bar chart illustrates the share of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and wales from 1918 to 2011.
2) It is noticeable that there appeared to be a clear upward trend in the percentage of households renting accommodation over the period shown. However, the percentage of households in owned accommodation presented an opposite trend.
3) In 1918, the percentage of households in rented accommodation was nearly 76%, and it fell by approximately 45% to 31% in 2001. By contrast, the lowest percentage of households in owned accommodation occurs in 1918, while the percentage of households in rented accommodation reached a peak. The percentage of households in owning was the maximum in 2001, with the percentage going up by roughly 46% to nearly 70%.
4) Households in owned accommodation and in rented accommodation reached the same level in 1971, which was 50%. From 2001 to 2011, there was a slight dip in the percentage of households owning accommodation, while the percentage of households in rented accommodation showed a modest increase by nearly 5% to 75%.
(174 words)
IELTS Cambridge 13 test 2 writing task 1: bar chart on households owning and renting accommodation
Analysis of the bar chart
Thanks you for giving any feedback or comments. I am not really sure whether my essay is appropriate or not, especially for my structure. So, please give me suggestions on improving my writing. Thanks a lot again!:)
1) The bar chart illustrates the share of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and wales from 1918 to 2011.
2) It is noticeable that there appeared to be a clear upward trend in the percentage of households renting accommodation over the period shown. However, the percentage of households in owned accommodation presented an opposite trend.
3) In 1918, the percentage of households in rented accommodation was nearly 76%, and it fell by approximately 45% to 31% in 2001. By contrast, the lowest percentage of households in owned accommodation occurs in 1918, while the percentage of households in rented accommodation reached a peak. The percentage of households in owning was the maximum in 2001, with the percentage going up by roughly 46% to nearly 70%.
4) Households in owned accommodation and in rented accommodation reached the same level in 1971, which was 50%. From 2001 to 2011, there was a slight dip in the percentage of households owning accommodation, while the percentage of households in rented accommodation showed a modest increase by nearly 5% to 75%.
(174 words)
