impossible
Nov 27, 2020
Writing Feedback / TOEFL - Toefl independent Review- Some Young Adults wants independence from their parents ....... [2]
Please review my original work and provide your feedback - Feedbacks are much appreciated and will help me to correct my mistakes.
Some might argue that young adults must live independently away from parents while, I prefer to live with parents for a longer time for the following reasons. Living with parents allows us to concentrate on various other extracurricular tasks, which don't contain family and daily responsibilities. Parents look after us, in terms of daily requirements like food, clothing, and other basic needs.
First of all, depending on parents is nothing wrong, till a certain age, under their guidance I can learn to live in the society with good morals. For Example, when I was 15 years old, my dad guided me in choosing between a bad path and a good path, as my proclivity was towards alcohol and drugs, he convinced me ill effects of them and thus saved me from the grave dangers in my teen ages, whereas my friends who were living independently were under the influence of alcohol and drugs, thus ruining their future.
Second of all, my parents had been looking after my career decisions and my daily expenses, by completely reducing the burden of paying my bills. For Example, When I was 18 years old, I had been depending on my parents and they helped me in choosing my career path as engineering in Electronics, and as well as paid my engineering fees, whereas one of my friends was independent away from his parents and had no support in choosing his career path and he had to work hard to earn for paying his engineering college fees and couldn't concentrate on the studies either.
In conclusion, I am elated and blessed to live under my parent's guidance, as they are always encouraging and looking after me for my wellbeing.
Please review my original work and provide your feedback - Feedbacks are much appreciated and will help me to correct my mistakes.
the life under parent's guidance or on one's own
Some might argue that young adults must live independently away from parents while, I prefer to live with parents for a longer time for the following reasons. Living with parents allows us to concentrate on various other extracurricular tasks, which don't contain family and daily responsibilities. Parents look after us, in terms of daily requirements like food, clothing, and other basic needs.
First of all, depending on parents is nothing wrong, till a certain age, under their guidance I can learn to live in the society with good morals. For Example, when I was 15 years old, my dad guided me in choosing between a bad path and a good path, as my proclivity was towards alcohol and drugs, he convinced me ill effects of them and thus saved me from the grave dangers in my teen ages, whereas my friends who were living independently were under the influence of alcohol and drugs, thus ruining their future.
Second of all, my parents had been looking after my career decisions and my daily expenses, by completely reducing the burden of paying my bills. For Example, When I was 18 years old, I had been depending on my parents and they helped me in choosing my career path as engineering in Electronics, and as well as paid my engineering fees, whereas one of my friends was independent away from his parents and had no support in choosing his career path and he had to work hard to earn for paying his engineering college fees and couldn't concentrate on the studies either.
In conclusion, I am elated and blessed to live under my parent's guidance, as they are always encouraging and looking after me for my wellbeing.
Question for independent task